chevyman097 2,579 Posted August 30, 2011 Report Share Posted August 30, 2011 heard plently of old sayings myself, but one that really always made me lmao. My grandmother used to always say, when really blown away or something really stumped her, "well I'll be dipped in shit". lmao I dont know where she got it but it always made laugh out loud. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kodaline 178 Posted August 31, 2011 Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 "Doesn't matter to us, you're the one fucking this goat; we're just holding the horns." Used to imply that someone else is running the show and they should be making that call. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dad2142Dad 6,559 Posted August 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition" ~ Howell Forgy ~ Dec. 7th, 1941 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kdbutler 563 Posted August 31, 2011 Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 "We're surrounded. That simplifies the problem!" --CHESTY PULLER, USMC 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
David Mark 2,452 Posted August 31, 2011 Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 Don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. "Keep your booger hook off the bang lever." I used that one to teach my daughter trigger finger discipline. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paulyski 2,227 Posted August 31, 2011 Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 Regarding hope; "Hope in one hand & shit in the other.... Tell me which fills up first." Regarding knowledge; "Those who don't know, don't know they don't know." Something that just came out of my mouth in my late teens when my group of friends were faced off with another group right before I took off after the guys with my 3' "fool be good" bar; "YOU WANNA PLAY MOTHERFUCKER!?!? WELCOME TO MY PLAYGROUND!" I think that day was when my friends started calling me "Crazy Pauly". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
xracer09 4 Posted August 31, 2011 Report Share Posted August 31, 2011 Dont be stupid you moron - Ben Stern That boys nuttier than squirrel shit.- My ex wife My personel fave: The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them. Albert Einstein And, since im in the puter biz: The Day Microsoft stops making products that suck is the day they start making vacuum cleaners Quote Link to post Share on other sites
poolingmyignorance 2,191 Posted September 1, 2011 Report Share Posted September 1, 2011 Regarding hope; "Hope in one hand & shit in the other.... Tell me which fills up first." Regarding knowledge; "Those who don't know, don't know they don't know." Something that just came out of my mouth in my late teens when my group of friends were faced off with another group right before I took off after the guys with my 3' "fool be good" bar; "YOU WANNA PLAY MOTHERFUCKER!?!? WELCOME TO MY PLAYGROUND!" I think that day was when my friends started calling me "Crazy Pauly". My father would phrase it : "Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see wich fills up first." and "Your numbers up, and it sure as fuck aint a lucky one" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MT Predator 2,294 Posted September 1, 2011 Report Share Posted September 1, 2011 When I was at Ft. Benning going through Jump School years ago, I witnessed a gaggle of female students gossiping and such on a break from training. Then a "Black Hat" AKA (Instuctor) came up and told them to "Shut your Cock Holsters! It stuck with me and I did use the phrase in the future. Since we didn't have females, it was addressed to males making it even more graphic for them to shut the fuck up. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AZ Gun Nut 8 Posted September 1, 2011 Report Share Posted September 1, 2011 "If brains were lard, that boy wouldn't grease a very big pan." Jed Clampett Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Salmonking 149 Posted September 1, 2011 Report Share Posted September 1, 2011 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
termite 463 Posted September 1, 2011 Report Share Posted September 1, 2011 How about "crazier than a shit house rat", and poolin, my father ALWAYS told me that when I would ask him for something that he knew I didn't need. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
pony_express1973 183 Posted September 1, 2011 Report Share Posted September 1, 2011 "Like a a fat kid in dodge ball....I'm out" On Luck He could fall face first in a pile of shit and come out with a 20 dollar bill in his mouth I'd fall into a barrel of TITs and come out sucking my thumb Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Juggernaut 11,054 Posted September 1, 2011 Report Share Posted September 1, 2011 "If you play pussy, you get F#@ked!" ~some Jr D.I. from another platoon I overheard during 2nd phase of basic... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
P lang 51 Posted September 1, 2011 Report Share Posted September 1, 2011 One of my all time favorites , " hold my beer , watch this ! " usually precede,s a trip to the er . A couple from my co workers , "that's about as fucked up as a soup sandwich " and " don't scratch a dry turd " Quote Link to post Share on other sites
yooper14.5 84 Posted September 1, 2011 Report Share Posted September 1, 2011 (edited) Edited September 1, 2011 by yooper14.5 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ktcm7271 999 Posted September 1, 2011 Report Share Posted September 1, 2011 Sayings rule! Never waste a hard-on, never trust a fart. (any old timer) A gun is like a condom: better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it. (not sure who said that) You will never be the smartest guy or the toughest guy, but if you are smarter than the tough guy and tougher than the smart guy, you stand a chance. (my dad) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dad2142Dad 6,559 Posted September 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2011 As far as I'm concerned, there's only two times you can have too much ammo; when you're swimming, and when you're on fire. Gunfixr 09-09-11 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BronCobraJet 80 Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 "You don't know shit from Shinola" and "If you ever see a turtle on a fence post, it didn't get there by accident" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stnls1911 55 Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun. -- The Dalai Lama 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BuffetDestroyer 969 Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 That went over like a pregnant pole-vaulter. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BuffetDestroyer 969 Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 My Pappy taught me that if you won't stick your face in it, don't stick your dick in it. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ktcm7271 999 Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 "Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff"! Gadis lives by that one! " Most guys like their women neat and tidy, I like mine Tight and needy" "I like my coffee like I like my women...ground up and in a bag" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra 76 two 2,677 Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 Up Shit Creek without a paddle..... God Bless America! Land Of The Free... Because Of The Brave! Boy that hat's so damn ugly you need two of em..... one to shit in, and the other to cover it up with! I wouldn't shit you, you're my favorite turd.... If you ain't got nuthin nice to say to somebody, then don't say nuthin at all! .... or was that STFU! Be nice.... until it's time to not be nice. When it rains.... it pours. Slower than molasses running uphill on a cold day. Slick as snot on a doorknob. Hotter 'n two cat's fuckin' in a wool sock.....lol. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
akastormi 617 Posted September 10, 2011 Report Share Posted September 10, 2011 Acouple from my Father; "Have fun, but don't get me on trouble." "Never refuse free money, beer or women." "It's not used, it's pre-enjoyed." "The Devil has many faces and most of them are HOT." "Don't get mad, get even." And a personal one that I'll never forget; "Oh what a pretty squirrel, to bad it's gonna die." - As he pulls out his revolver. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kdbutler 563 Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 "Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra." "Bitch in a buzzsaw!" "F**k me slowly with a chainsaw!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sadams4 1 Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 If you're looking for sympathy, look in the dictionary. It's between shit and sypholis, beccause you're not finding it here. Old Corps, My Coprs, and this new piece of shit Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest. Busier than a cat trying to bury shit on a tin roof. More fucked up than Hogan's goat. You're a bag of fuck. You have your head so far up your ass, you have to wear a plexi glass belt buckle to see where you're going. Your head is so far up HIS ass you can tell me what he had for dinner. Semper Fi! = Oorah for me and fuck you, told to me by Marines from WWI, WWII, and Korea (all relativesand Marines I met at USMC birthdays) you're bat shit crazy. A woman not on her knees is not in her job. Atributed to a Marine Corps Commandant. Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra. put the thing in the thing and pull the thing. John Farnam when explaining how to load a fresh mag in a gun to a student and bypassing all the needless BS. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Deadeye 325 Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 One I use all the time when something goes good. "well that is just like a sore dick. Ya cant beat it" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mullet Man 2,114 Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 ^ lol, i say, "you cant beat that like a sore peter". For the crafty and sly.... "there's many a slip twixt a cup and a lip" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Colon Terminus 61 Posted September 11, 2011 Report Share Posted September 11, 2011 Never rob from Peter to pay Paul. That just makes Peter sore and everybody knows that a sore Peter is hard to deal with. Used to describe someone who's in dire straits: "Fucked and far from home". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.