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heard plently of old sayings myself, but one that really always made me lmao.

 

My grandmother used to always say, when really blown away or something really stumped her, "well I'll be dipped in shit". lmao I dont know where she got it but it always made laugh out loud.

 

 

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"Doesn't matter to us, you're the one fucking this goat; we're just holding the horns."

 

Used to imply that someone else is running the show and they should be making that call.

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Don't know why I didn't think of this sooner.

 

"Keep your booger hook off the bang lever."

 

I used that one to teach my daughter trigger finger discipline.

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Regarding hope;

 

"Hope in one hand & shit in the other....

Tell me which fills up first."

 

 

Regarding knowledge;

 

"Those who don't know, don't know they don't know."

 

Something that just came out of my mouth in my late teens when my group of friends were faced off with another group right before I took off after the guys with my 3' "fool be good" bar;

 

"YOU WANNA PLAY MOTHERFUCKER!?!?

WELCOME TO MY PLAYGROUND!"

 

I think that day was when my friends started calling me "Crazy Pauly". ^_^

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Dont be stupid you moron - Ben Stern

 

That boys nuttier than squirrel shit.- My ex wife

 

 

 

My personel fave:

 

The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.

Albert Einstein

 

 

And, since im in the puter biz:

 

The Day Microsoft stops making products that suck is the day they start making vacuum cleaners

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Regarding hope;

 

"Hope in one hand & shit in the other....

Tell me which fills up first."

 

 

Regarding knowledge;

 

"Those who don't know, don't know they don't know."

 

Something that just came out of my mouth in my late teens when my group of friends were faced off with another group right before I took off after the guys with my 3' "fool be good" bar;

 

"YOU WANNA PLAY MOTHERFUCKER!?!?

WELCOME TO MY PLAYGROUND!"

 

I think that day was when my friends started calling me "Crazy Pauly". ^_^

 

My father would phrase it :

"Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see wich fills up first." and "Your numbers up, and it sure as fuck aint a lucky one"

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When I was at Ft. Benning going through Jump School years ago, I witnessed a gaggle of female students gossiping and such on a break from training. Then a "Black Hat" AKA (Instuctor) came up and told them to "Shut your Cock Holsters! It stuck with me and I did use the phrase in the future. Since we didn't have females, it was addressed to males making it even more graphic for them to shut the fuck up.

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"Like a a fat kid in dodge ball....I'm out"

 

 

On Luck

 

He could fall face first in a pile of shit and come out with a 20 dollar bill in his mouth I'd fall into a barrel of TITs and come out sucking my thumb

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"If you play pussy, you get F#@ked!" ~some Jr D.I. from another platoon I overheard during 2nd phase of basic...

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One of my all time favorites , " hold my beer , watch this ! " usually precede,s a trip to the er . A couple from my co workers , "that's about as fucked up as a soup sandwich " and " don't scratch a dry turd "

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Sayings rule!

 

Never waste a hard-on, never trust a fart. (any old timer)

 

A gun is like a condom: better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it. (not sure who said that)

 

You will never be the smartest guy or the toughest guy, but if you are smarter than the tough guy and tougher than the smart guy, you stand a chance. (my dad)

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As far as I'm concerned, there's only two times you can have too much ammo; when you're swimming, and when you're on fire.

 

 

Gunfixr

 

09-09-11

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"Don't sweat the petty stuff, pet the sweaty stuff"! Gadis lives by that one!

"

Most guys like their women neat and tidy, I like mine Tight and needy"

 

"I like my coffee like I like my women...ground up and in a bag"

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Up Shit Creek without a paddle.....

post-1293-0-17983100-1315637638_thumb.jpg

 

 

 

 

God Bless America!

Land Of The Free...

Because Of The Brave!

 

 

 

Boy that hat's so damn ugly you need two of em..... one to shit in, and the other to cover it up with! :lolol:

 

 

I wouldn't shit you, you're my favorite turd....

 

 

If you ain't got nuthin nice to say to somebody, then don't say nuthin at all! .... or was that STFU! :haha:

 

 

Be nice.... until it's time to not be nice.

 

 

When it rains.... it pours.

 

 

Slower than molasses running uphill on a cold day.

 

 

Slick as snot on a doorknob.

 

 

Hotter 'n two cat's fuckin' in a wool sock.....lol.

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Acouple from my Father;

 

"Have fun, but don't get me on trouble."

 

"Never refuse free money, beer or women."

 

"It's not used, it's pre-enjoyed."

 

"The Devil has many faces and most of them are HOT."

 

"Don't get mad, get even."

 

And a personal one that I'll never forget;

 

"Oh what a pretty squirrel, to bad it's gonna die." - As he pulls out his revolver.

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If you're looking for sympathy, look in the dictionary. It's between shit and sypholis, beccause you're not finding it here.

Old Corps, My Coprs, and this new piece of shit

Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

Busier than a cat trying to bury shit on a tin roof.

More fucked up than Hogan's goat.

You're a bag of fuck.

You have your head so far up your ass, you have to wear a plexi glass belt buckle to see where you're going.

Your head is so far up HIS ass you can tell me what he had for dinner.

Semper Fi! = Oorah for me and fuck you, told to me by Marines from WWI, WWII, and Korea (all relativesand Marines I met at USMC birthdays)

you're bat shit crazy.

A woman not on her knees is not in her job. Atributed to a Marine Corps Commandant.

Colder than a witches tit in a brass bra.

put the thing in the thing and pull the thing. John Farnam when explaining how to load a fresh mag in a gun to a student and bypassing all the needless BS.

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^ lol, i say, "you cant beat that like a sore peter".

 

 

 

For the crafty and sly....

 

"there's many a slip twixt a cup and a lip"

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Never rob from Peter to pay Paul. That just makes Peter sore and everybody knows that a sore Peter is hard to deal with.

 

Used to describe someone who's in dire straits:

"Fucked and far from home".

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