nlacy 692 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 OK, it occurred to me today that with all this time I spend thinking about guns/zombies etc, I might be a mall ninja. But how do you know if you're a Mall Ninja? So that I can decide if I am actually a mall ninja, please complete this sentence: "You might be a mall ninja if..." 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TapeWorm3 104 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 More rail slots on your weapon than rounds of ammo in magazine! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lone Eagle 839 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 You double(or triple) the weight of your AR from the accessories. Your AR has more gadgets than a Swiss Army knife. You think using a .22LR conversion kit set for full auto in your AR and a tactical wheelbarrow are all you need to survive. You see your friend's gun room, and the first words out of your mouth are, "When the shit hits the fan, I'm coming to your place." You spend all your money on gun accessories, and only have one loaded magazine. Half the accessories on your AR came from Pyramid Airsoft off ebay. You have <insert favorite tactical/online accessory store here> on speed dial so you can get the latest and greatest accessory. Your BOB/GHB weighs twice as much as you do. You boast and brag about how well you can shoot your AR, and some dude with a Century WASR-10 at the range puts you to shame........at 25 yards(rangemaster still laughs at that tard). You have so many accessories, it takes you half a day just to field strip the weapon. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nlacy 692 Posted February 27, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 "You double(or triple) the weight of your AR from the accessories." Yeah, the scope, mount, surefire, red dot on offset, and AFG do add some weight. No bayonet though (only because my rifle does not have a lug). Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bayoupiper 738 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 Your local army surplus store has to special order BDUs in your size. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lone Eagle 839 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 If this is your AR: You're a mall ninja. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jcx39 28 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 You refer to magazines as "clips" but have no idea what a clip is. you try to sell LNIB glocks higher than retail price.....but it has an extra high capacity clip! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
schultze13 354 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 You talk shit on all the gun forums on how skilled you are, how much you train and that Chuck Norris doesn't have shit on you BUT you still aren't skilled enough to move out of your parents house. You buy a Saiga-12 then come on hear and bitch about how you just bought a $600 gun and can't believe it has FTE issues on Wal-mart bulk pack and you should not have to work on a new gun. You didn't have to work on your new railed covered AR-15. You spend your evening answering dumb fucking questions on a gun forum instead of spending time with your family. And last if you are excited that this is your 1000th post.YEA!!!!! 9 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChileRelleno 7,071 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 If your wardrobe consists entirely of 5.11 then you might be a mall ninja. If you ever stood downrange while people were firing, you might be a mall ninja. If you own a drop leg holster, you might be a mall ninja. If you ever described yourself as HSLD, then might be a mall ninja. If you shoot any kind of airsoft anywhere but the privacy of your back yard, you might be a mall ninja. If you’re more interested in how tacticool a gun looks than how it shoots, you might be a mall ninja. If you have ever attended a tactical carbine class, you might be a mall ninja. If your “gear” is a fashion statement, you might be a mall ninja. If you want to be a cop so bad that you impersonate one, you might be a mall ninja. If you’ve memorized all the acronyms on the survivalblog, you might be a mall ninja. If you spend time on the Internet arguing about the best tactical flashlight, you might be a mall ninja. If you own anything made by H&K, you’re a mall ninja, no maybe about it. If you own a concealed carry badge, then you might be a mall ninja. If all the blades on your knives are matte black, you might be a mall ninja If you list the guns you own next to your signature, you might be a mall ninja. If your M4gery has more rails than a train track, you might be a mall ninja. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
timy 1,185 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 And last if you are excited that this is your 1000th post.YEA!!!!! Congratulations! I think. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
corbin 621 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 (edited) I found this online. I might fit a couple of these descriptions. LOL You might be a Mall Ninja if… . If you considered duct-taping a kitchen knife to your long arms to serve as a bayonet, you might be a mall ninja. If you put a heat shield on your shotgun because you may need it during urban assaults, you might be a mall ninja. (Is that the "thing that goes up"?) If you put an M4 stock on your H&R single shot, you might be a mall ninja. If you put a pistol grip on your shotgun because you are so good at hip-shooting, you might be a mall ninja. If you don't actually have an AK, so you decided to make your 10/22 look like one as much as possible, you might be a mall ninja. If you have a breaching device on the end of your home defense shotgun, just in case you need to breach your own doors, you might be a mall ninja. If you think that during SHTF, you will carry a bolt action rifle, a shotgun, a SOCOM M1A, a Ruger Mark II, and a 1911 just to cover all the base, you might be a mall ninja. If you have a .50 cal muzzle brake on your shotgun, you might be a mall ninja. If your game remote is attached to an AR rail in case you get ambushed on Rainbow Six while you are handling your AR, you might be a mall ninja. If you have desert camo or sand colored weapons, even though you live in Illinois, you might be a mall ninja. If you consider playing Call of Duty to be combat experience, you might be a mall ninja. Edited February 27, 2012 by Corbin 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChileRelleno 7,071 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 And last if you are excited that this is your 1000th post.YEA!!!!! Congrats on your 1000th. LOL! I thought I was kind'a pathetic to think my 3000th was cool. ............................................ You might be a Mall Ninja if... The bulk of your training is from YouTube videos. You refer to other people as civilians, and have never been in law enforcement or the military. Stories of when you were "in the military" refer to the week and a half you were in the reception battalion because you never even made it into basic training. You think you can use martial arts moves you have seen in a movie once, but you can't do a single push up. You enjoy throwing an acronym into everyday conversation and laugh to yourself that the stupid civilian has no idea what the acronym means. If you have more than one firearm with a 'tactical' accessory attached. If you own fatigues, but not natural earth toned. If you shoot your pistol sideways, with only one hand... you might be a mall ninja... or a gangster. If you own a gas mask, but dont use it for its intended purpose. When you look in the mirror you see Rambo but when others look at you they see Kip from Napoleon Dynamite. You think getting a tattoo of barbed wire on your arm makes you look tough. You spend more time thinking about guns and tactical gear than you do about sex. You have a better chance of hitting the lottery this Saturday than you do of getting laid in the next 5 years. The only pictures of females in your wallet are pictures are the ones it came with. You've been kissed by girls lots of times, unless Mom and your Aunts don't count. You have worn camouflage clothing off your own property for something other than a trip to the hardware store to get supplies for a home project, but you have never been in the military. If you've ever jumped in the middle of a gun conversation and asked if they own a SAW Machine gun. When you are told by your significant other to sweep the garage, you grab an AR and yell back “Clear!” When the inlaws come for a visit,they pull in your drive way and you yell out.. "Hostiles inbound!!" You have a glock with a lanyard hanging next to the shampoo in your shower. You lean up against the handgun case in BPS and try to look cool. When you enter a gun shop, the employees roll their eyes because they know your gonna’ ask to look at that AR.....for the 8th time that week. Your self defense knife is a Swiss army...double points if it's the model with the clock built in. If you have any edged weapon "strategically" placed for home defense. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jcx39 28 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUHIJY-kyHs If you are in any way connected to this man or endorse him......you might be a.....mall....jackass? 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TomInProv 1 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 (edited) If you have a .50 cal muzzle brake on your shotgun, you might be a mall ninja. I saw one of those in a store in MA, and I was wondering wtf? Then they said, a cop customer of theirs puts it on all his shotguns. After that I was sold on it..... not! You see your friend's gun room, and the first words out of your mouth are, "When the shit hits the fan, I'm coming to your place." I can't remember how many of my friends have told me this..... I don't think there's enough room at my place. When you are told by your significant other to sweep the garage, you grab an AR and yell back “Clear!” When the inlaws come for a visit,they pull in your drive way and you yell out.. "Hostiles inbound!!" That's pretty clever, I don't think it belongs on the list. Edited February 27, 2012 by Tom In Prov Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DogMan 2,343 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 ......if this is your day job. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kodaline 178 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 So, I agree with all of them except for the crack on HK. I own some, I like them. To me, the USP is the best semi auto pistol out there, it's like a modern 1911. Those who haven't shot them, held them, carried them...don't know. And, that's ok. Yeah, the price is high, but no more so than any other quality pistol, and you truly get what you pay for. People who dump on HK are they same that dump on Taurus. They consider HK to be arrogant, overhyped stuff because they can't afford them, and they consider Taurus to be low quality crap, because they can afford better. I define my guns; I don't let them define me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Odd Man Out 1,283 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 (edited) Hey! I'm a mall ninja and my wife's a mall ninja too. Didn't know it before but do now. We are the the blackest, stealthiest, deadliest Mall Ninja couple around. All you wannabe mall ninjas beware!!!! Edited February 27, 2012 by Odd Man Out 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ScuseMePrincess 23 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 You spend more time thinking about guns and tactical gear than you do about sex. You have a better chance of hitting the lottery this Saturday than you do of getting laid in the next 5 years. The only pictures of females in your wallet are pictures are the ones it came with. You've been kissed by girls lots of times, unless Mom and your Aunts don't count. Low blows right there, man. Low blows. I may not have a girlfriend, but my guns will always be there for me. Also, is there even a correct color for your guns if you want to avoid being called a mall-ninja? I was thinking about getting some tan furniture for my Saiga 223, because I don't want too many black guns. I don't live anywhere near a desert, though. I guess you can't go wrong with wood. lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smartbomb 133 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 if you subscribe Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jcx39 28 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 Oh i Just thought of one...I actually knew some one once that admitted to doing this(he had some in the glove box and gun safe) . haha If you carry tampons to plug gunshot wounds, you might be a mall ninja. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Shotgun12 205 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 Dear god how do i subscribe to that magazine!! haha just kidding, but seriously.. I have seen a few Mall Ninjas in Walmart and Academy and wow the guys i saw in Academy were nuts, they were talking in acronyms like crazy. They were wearing all tacticool vests, pants, hats, boots, and brand name shirts and every other word they spoke was an acronym or military code like "Oscar Mike" or "instead of saying A, B, C it was Alpha, Bravo, Charlie. I wanted to hit them so hard. I knew straight away they were not military or police officers because they just didn't fit the bill in the weight department. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fallschirmjager667 729 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 You spend more time thinking about guns and tactical gear than you do about sex. anyone who admits to this, turn in your man card 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
armalite_ar50 86 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 YOU ARE A mall ninja IF: You put a shurefire and/or laser on you pocket folding knife. YOU are a mall ninja IF: 9mm IS better than 45 acp You "claim " to shoot better than EVERYONE but have never competed. Yer just a PLAIN loser and NOT EVEN WORTHY of mall ninja status IF: You hunt Mahogany Ridge but have never been in the woods. Yer a keyboard commando IF: your calf weights more then your battle rifle! TUCK THOSE TANKLES IN DAMIT! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mullet Man 2,114 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 WTH is a "Tankle"? I've heard of "Cankle". Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nailbomb 10,221 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 You might be a mall ninja if you buy a gun because of how cool it was/is in your favorite video game/Movie. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
thebuns1 4,323 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 you might be a mall ninja if you buy mossbergs new lever action. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Fitty% 808 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 If you ever stood downrange while people were firing, you might be a mall ninja. If you own a drop leg holster, you might be a mall ninja. If you have ever attended a tactical carbine class, you might be a mall ninja. Ive stood down range while my buddies were shooting (while in Iraq & Afghan) Ive owned a couple drop-leg holsters (I was on flight status) Ive attended Tier-1 Tactics Advanced Carbine Operator Course (again I was in Army SOF) so am I a mall ninja? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Nailbomb 10,221 Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 so am I a mall ninja? Probably not, but you are being sensitive and ruining a good laugh. Ever described yourself as high speed/low drag? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nlacy 692 Posted February 27, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 blkhwkguy-sounds like you're a for real ninja. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MT Predator 2,294 Posted February 28, 2012 Report Share Posted February 28, 2012 If your weapons, equipment, or ammo have any reference to Zombies. Or screen name. None of these items are mine BTW. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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