The Husband Store
Posted 03 June 2012 - 05:49 PM
A woman may go to this store and purchase a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
RULES FOR PURCHASING A HUSBAND:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1- These men Have Jobs.
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
"That's nice," she thinks, "but I want more." So she continues upward.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
"Never, under any circumstances, ever become a refugee... Die if you must, but die on your home turf with your face to the wind, not in some stinking hellhole 2,000 kilometers away, among people you neither know nor care about."
Mihail Timofeevič Kalašnikov :
"I am still ready to shake hands with anyone who designs a better assault rifle than mine.
USPA# 106617, D#24868, 600+ jumps in 42/50 states, 36 fixed & 6 rotary winged aircraft, Highest 28,000'-Lowest 1,500', Reserve Rides-5, Injuries-1... SKYDIVE!
Posted 03 June 2012 - 06:46 PM
Rednecks run the Brits out of this country years ago,
I will defend this country from anyone or thing that tries to take it from me or mine
I AM A REDNECK!!!
"If ever a time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government,our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin." Samuel Adams, 1776
As a wise man once said, "If they keep cornering and harassing the rattlesnake, it will have no option but to strike back."
Posted 03 June 2012 - 07:12 PM
"It isn't always being fast or even accurate that counts, it's being willing. I found out early that most men regardless of cause or need aren't willing. They blink an eye or draw a breath before they pull the trigger and I won't." - The Shootist (John Wayne)
"You have enemies? Good! That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life" - Winston Churchill
Posted 10 June 2012 - 01:04 AM
"The Lord is my light; who shall I fear? The Lord is my salvation; of whom shall I be afraid?" - Psalms 27:1
"A law upon the public is only enforceable if the public does not resist it." -Me, but I'm sure someone, somewhere, said something similar to this once.
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