storm6490 2,768 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 You wake up in the morning and they are playing the band NIRVANA at 10 in the morning. You can't trust a fart. You grunt when pulling back on your bow or when lifting up your kids. Teenagers piss you off for doing the same shit you did. You get cranky when you skip a meal. ... you got some more? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
magsite20 1,664 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 you went to a Dallas Cowboys game at the Cotton Bowl you bought a 1965 Mustang as a slightly used car late night TV was Johnny Carson you can't party all night, just take a shower, and go to work and my personal pain in the ass right now you got no damn teeth and have to wait till December go get some dentures 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jwulf 179 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 Everyone starts to look like someone else... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Dad2142Dad 6,559 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 You remember the good ole days when you had rights, could say what was on your mind, taxes were lower................... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
YOT 3,743 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 You remember the old farmhouse next door, where there have been two "new" houses since. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Matthew Hopkins 1,065 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 (edited) for me, I embrace getting old, here are the reasons why; 1) for 50+ years I had to stand behind some old coot that pulled out a change purse to count the exact change, then got into a polite conversation with the cashier, then had to start counting all over again because he lost count. then he slowly zipped up his change purse put it back in his pocket, then took out his wallet and pulled out the exact dollar amount, and then slowly put it back in his back pocket. now, it's my turn to be that "old coot" and everybody behind me can just wait until I finish with my transaction, just like I use to. they can have their turn when they get old. 2) for 30+ years I always got behind a "old coot" that was driving below the posted speed limit. now, it's my turn to be that "old coot" and drive 5 miles below the posted speed limit, because I'm in no hurry to get anywhere anymore. 3) I get to ask, you give AARP discounts? 4) when I go to the mall now, I don't buy anything. I just sit in a cushy chair and watch girls. it's even better if there is a chair in front of VICTORIA'S SECRETS Edited November 5, 2013 by Matthew Hopkins 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
YOT 3,743 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 You go to the mall? I would have never thought that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
PFerris 76 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 You have to shake your dick a lot more after taking a piss and it still does not always get the dribble. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spacehog 2,218 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 (edited) You have to shake your dick a lot more after taking a piss and it still does not always get the dribble....and we have a winner!!! That made me laugh out loud!!! When you step into the shower and lift your arms to wash what little hair you have left on top of your head and end up at the emergency room because you threw out your lower back....and a little dribble now and then ETA: when you enjoy the extra shakes of the pecker for the above mentioned condition, because it is the hottest action you have gotten in months. Edited November 5, 2013 by Spacehog Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jerry52 893 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 (edited) You walk into a room to do something and you forget why you are there. Then you to walk out thinking what you forgot might be in another room. Edited November 5, 2013 by jerry52 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
magsite20 1,664 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 You have to shake your dick a lot more after taking a piss and it still does not always get the dribble. or you take Viagra just so you don't piss on your shoes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
El Cabron 91 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 I've found myself pondering the hereafter more and more as I grow older. I walk into a room, slowly look around, and say "What am I here after?" 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
YOT 3,743 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 You have to shake your dick a lot more after taking a piss and it still does not always get the dribble. or you take Viagra just so you don't piss on your shoes. You may be taking it for the wrong reason.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
David Mark 2,452 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 I was out at a local lake fishing last weekend and some 20 something kid walks by and says "You catching anything old timer?" Maybe it's my grey beard? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ronin38 2,117 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 When you're packing a bag for a weekend trip, and it takes you 3 minutes to pack your clothes and 10 minutes to pack your meds... You move a few boxes around in the garage, and the next day it takes you 10 minutes to get out of bed. One of your most-used phrases is now... "Where is my Advil?" 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sim_Player 1,939 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 30 year old woman are the new cuties because coeds look like babies. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Remek 771 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 ...when you can actually do math without a calculator. ...when you think the oldies channel is the best music out there. ...when you have more hair on your back, nose, and/or ears than on your head. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ronin38 2,117 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 I've never been able to do math without a calculator... How can just "Like" this whole thread? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HB of CJ 1,263 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 When you have to wait and wait and wait trying to start to piss. Then like already said, then you have to shake it a dozen times to get the last dribble out, but the shaking is no long fun. Just shaking. Then...after you finally get through in the bathroom pissing, you dribble several drops of piss down your boxer short down to your knees. That always pisses me off. When you really stop and take a look at the "Depends" shelves at the local pharmacy where all the pharmacists know you by your first name. When you walk right by the rubber displays because it is now a distant fond memory. When you are having bad lower back days like right now and you have to cancel a trip into town because you are not sure if you can get to the car and back. I hate getting old. I knew this would happen....only not so soon. HB of CJ (old coot) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DogMan 2,343 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 You walk out to the garage to get something and forget what it was and while you're trying to remember you start working on something else. Then you need something from the house and when you get there you forgot what you went there for, but remember what you needed from the garage. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
XD45 7,124 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 People who were born when you were in your 30s are now old enough to drink. You meet some old wrinkled person and then you find out you're older than them. You can't sleep past 6AM even on weekends. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sccritterkiller 473 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 I'm going to agree with striker on this one. ..when your rectum can no longer differentiate between solids, liquids, or gas. That and my arms aren't long enough to read print anymore. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SouthernOne 203 Posted November 5, 2013 Report Share Posted November 5, 2013 (edited) When you are watching The History Channel and remember it like yesterday. When you go thru all your kids names before your get it right. When I was born, there were only 49 states. Bill Clinton went to visit the nursing home. When he walked in, nobody paid him any attention. He walked up to the desk and asked the lady, "Do you know who I am?" The lady said, '' That's OK, Honey, just sit over there and we'll help you figure it out." Edited November 6, 2013 by SouthernOne Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Remek 771 Posted November 6, 2013 Report Share Posted November 6, 2013 You walk out to the garage to get something and forget what it was and while you're trying to remember you start working on something else. Then you need something from the house and when you get there you forgot what you went there for, but remember what you needed from the garage. Oh man, been there many times! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TonyRumore 1,332 Posted November 6, 2013 Report Share Posted November 6, 2013 You don't give a shit whether someone posts a pic on the internet with their finger on the trigger, or refers to a magazine as a clip. Tony 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
David Mark 2,452 Posted November 6, 2013 Report Share Posted November 6, 2013 You don't give a shit whether someone posts a pic on the internet with their finger on the trigger, or refers to a magazine as a clip. Tony haven't gotten there yet but I hear what your saying. Ignorance equals future problems. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
G O B 3,516 Posted November 6, 2013 Report Share Posted November 6, 2013 When you pump $3.19 gas - and bitch the whole time because you remember buying that shit for $0.17 a gallon! When you have to lube the bearings and replace the brushes in your power tools because they are 35 years old - and you bought them new! When you clean up the shop and find brake drums for a '64 Rambler American! When you have old work shirts from a company that was bought out in the '70s! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
read_the_wall 614 Posted November 6, 2013 Report Share Posted November 6, 2013 you see a good looking 25 year old..............and her mom looks good.......... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
avnate 335 Posted November 6, 2013 Report Share Posted November 6, 2013 There were no remotes. Then when it was introduced it was called a "Clicker" for a reason. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Remek 771 Posted November 6, 2013 Report Share Posted November 6, 2013 There were no remotes. Then when it was introduced it was called a "Clicker" for a reason. I remember when the kids were the clicker. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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