Jump to content

Favorite Axioms?

macbeau
 Share Followers 0

Recommended Posts

macbeau

macbeau 902

Posted
Posted

Here are some of my collection of axioms

 

 

 

MURPHY'S LAW
 "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong."

 

 MURPHY'S LAW EXTENDED
 "If a series of events can go wrong, it will do so in the worst possible sequence."

 

 MURPHY'S PARADOX
 "Doing it the hard way is always easier."

 

 MURPHY'S FIRST COROLLARY
 "Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first."

 

 MURPHY'S SECOND COROLLARY
 "Nature always sides with the hidden flaw."

 

 MURPHY'S THIRD COROLLARY
 "It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious."

 

 MURPHY'S LAW OF THERMODYNAMICS
 "Things get worse under pressure."

 

 O'TOOLE'S COMMENTARY ON MURPHY'S LAW
 "Murphy was an optimist."

 

 SILVERMAN'S PARADOX
 "If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will."

 

 GATUSSO'S EXTENSION OF MURPHY'S LAW
 "Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse."

 

 FIRST POSTULATE OF ISO-MURPHISM
 "Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other."

 

 BEAGLE'S QUANTUM ADJUSTMENT TO MURPHY
 "Everything that can go wrong, has gone wrong already. It just hasn't happened yet."

 

 BEAGLE'S LAW OF MATERNAL PRECOGNITION
 "Why tell your mother what you did? She already knows."

 

 BEAGLE'S FIRST LAW OF MATERIAL COEXISTENCE
 "A square peg will fit into any round hole if traveling at sufficient velocity."

 

 BEAGLE'S FOURTH IDEOLOGICAL INSIGHT
 "Size does matter. The bigger your education, the deeper your paradigm."

 

 BEAGLE'S PARADIGM SHIFT NUMBER ONE (with apologies to Newton)
 "A belief in motion tends to stay in motion, in a straight line, at a uniform rate of acceptance, unless acted upon by outside facts."

 

 BEAGLE'S FIRST LAW OF GOVERNANCE
 "Tyranny expands to fill the amount of passivity available for its implementation."

 

 BEAGLE'S SECOND LAW OF GOVERNANCE
 "Tyranny is neither created nor destroyed, it just changes suits."

 

 BEAGLE'S THIRD LAW OF GOVERNANCE
 "The result of an irresistible freedom force meeting an immovable tyrannical object is, well, revolution."

 

 BEAGLE'S FOURTH LAW OF GOVERNANCE
 "The desire for freedom varies inversely with the number of cable channels available."

 

 FINAGLE'S FOURTH LAW
 "Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse."

 

 FELSON'S LAW
 "To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research."

 

 SOULDER'S LAW
 "Repetition does not establish validity."

 

 HECHT'S FOURTH LAW
 "There's no time like the present for postponing what you don't want to do."

 

 MAYNE'S LAW
 "Nobody notices the big errors."

 

 WRIGHT'S FIRST LAW OF QUALITY
 "Quality is inversely proportional to the time left for completion of the project."

 

 STEINER'S MAXIM
 "The fact that you do not know the answer does not mean that someone else does."

 

 GUMMIDGE'S LAW
 "The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public."

 

 DOOLEY'S LAW
 "Trust everybody, but cut the cards."

 

 BRALEK'S RULE FOR SUCCESS
 "Trust only those who stand to lose as much as you do when things go wrong."

 

 SCHMIDT'S LAW
 "If you mess with a thing long enough, it will break."

 

MACBEAU's LAW OF PROBLEM ANALYSIS
"Inside every large problem there are multiple smaller problems struggling to get out."

 

 CAPTAIN PENNY'S LAW
 "You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool MOM."

 

 DISMONI'S RULE OF COGNITION
 "Believing is seeing."

 

 HANE'S LAW
 "There is no limit to how bad things can get."

 

 PERUSSEL'S LAW
 "There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrong."

 

 LOFTUS' FIFTH LAW OF MANAGEMENT
 "Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book says."

 

 SWEENEY'S LAW
 "The length of a progress report is inversely proportional to the amount of progress."

 

 RUDNICKI'S NOBEL PRINCIPLE
 "Only someone who understands something absolutely can explain it so no one else can understand it."

 JACOBSON'S LAW
 "The less work an organization produces, the more frequently it reorganizes."

 

 FIRST LAW OF LIVING
 "As soon as you're doing what you wanted to be doing, you want to be doing something else."

 

 BARUCH'S ORGANIZATIONAL PRINCIPLE
 "If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."

 

 FOX ON PROBLEMATICS
 "When a problem goes away, the people working to solve it do not."

 

 FARNSDICK'S COROLLARY
 "After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself."

 

 DUCHARM'S AXIOM
 "If one views his problem closely enough, he will recognize himself as part of the problem."

 

 HALDANE'S LAW
 "The universe is not only queerer than we suppose, it's queerer than we CAN suppose."

 

 MRS. WEILER'S LAW
 "Anything is edible if chopped finely enough."

 

 SIMON'S LAW
 "Everything put together falls apart sooner or later."

 

 LIPPPMAN'S LEMMA
 "People specialize in their area of greatest weakness."

 

 AIGNER'S AXIOM
 "No matter how well you perform your job, a superior will seek to modify the results."

 

 RUCKERT'S LAW
 There is nothing so small that it can't be blown out of proportion."

 

 JENKIN'S CONUNDRUM
"The unaware are unaware of being unaware."

 

[Reposted from my blog from 2005]

 

 

 

Macbeau...

  • Like 9
Link to post
Share on other sites
Voltia

Voltia 375

Posted
Posted

Lee's Law of Overly Ambitious Management:

 

The only guy you want to promote to a supervisory position is the one that doesn't want the job.

 

Lee's Law of Absolute Ignorance:

 

The more ignorant someone is of a situation, the clearer the facts and the solution seem to be.

Link to post
Share on other sites
IndyArms

IndyArms 10,186

Posted
Posted

Give the hardest job to the laziest guy, and he'll show you the easiest way to do it.

I am NOT LAZY!!!! I am just exceptionally EFFICIENT!!!!!

 

Also...

 

When people start to complain about things that are not their fault... I always tell them...

 

" If you know the shoe doesn't fit... don't try to jam your foot into it...

 

:lol::up:

Link to post
Share on other sites
XD45

XD45 7,124

Posted
Posted (edited)

"In theory there's no difference between theory and reality, but in reality there is."

 

"Without the freedom to fail, there is no freedom to succeed."

 

"I don't have an attitude problem.  If you don't like my attitude, that's your problem."

 

All by me.

 

And of course, all of Murphy's Laws of Combat.

Edited by Darth Saigus
Link to post
Share on other sites
thebuns1

thebuns1 4,323

Posted
Posted

 

Give the hardest job to the laziest guy, and he'll show you the easiest way to do it.

 

I am NOT LAZY!!!! I am just exceptionally EFFICIENT!!!!!

 

Also...

 

When people start to complain about things that are not their fault... I always tell them...

 

" If you know the shoe doesn't fit... don't try to jam your foot into it...

 

:lol::up:

 

LOL. It's all good Indy. Depending on the scenario, I'm the same way.

Link to post
Share on other sites
MT Predator

MT Predator 2,294

Posted
Posted (edited)

When confronted with a written request from German General Luttwitz for the surrender of Bastogne, Brigadier General Anthony McAuliffe, tthe acting commander of the 101st Airborne Division in Belgium had a one word reply. "Nuts!"

It was interpreted it by the German truce party as "Go to hell!

Edited by MT Predator
Link to post
Share on other sites
Ronin38

Ronin38 2,117

Posted
Posted (edited)

I believe I saw this mentioned above...  wink.png

 

Rules of Combat

USMC

  1. Bring a weapon. Preferably, bring at least two. Bring all of your friends who have weapons. Bring their friends who have weapons.
  2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
  3. Only hits count. Close doesn't count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.
  4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast enough, nor using cover correctly.
  5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)
  6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a big weapon and a friend with a big weapon.
  7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived and who didn't.
  8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and running.
  9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting is more dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the weapon.
  10. Use a weapon that works EVERY TIME. "All skill is in vain when an Angel pisses in the flintlock of your musket."
  11. Someday someone may kill you with your own weapon, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
  12. In combat, there are no rules, always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
  13. Have a plan.
  14. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.
  15. Use cover or concealment as much as possible. The visible target should be in FRONT of YOUR weapon.
  16. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
  17. Don't drop your guard.
  18. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.
  19. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them).
  20. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
  21. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot you will get.
  22. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
  23. Be polite. Be professional. But have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
  24. Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation.
  25. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does not start with a ".4."

Army

  1. See USMC Rules for combat
  2. Add 60 to 90 days
  3. Hope the Marines already destroyed all meaningful resistance

Navy

  1. Spend three weeks getting somewhere
  2. Adopt an aggressive offshore posture
  3. Send in the Marines
  4. Drink Coffee
  5. Bring back the Marines

Air Force

  1. Kiss the spouse good-bye
  2. Drive to the flight line
  3. Fly to target area, drop bombs, fly back.
  4. Pop in at the club for a couple with the guys
  5. Go home, BBQ some burgers and drink some more beer

Additional rules I've read along the way:

 

- Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you.

- Don't attract attention, it draws fire.

- Don't draw fire, it annoys everyone around you.

- Incoming fire has the right of way.

- Friendly fire, isn't.

- Man-portable never states how many men.

- REMF's are everywhere.

- Your weapon and equipment were made by the lowest bidder.

Edited by Ronin38
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
 Share
Followers 0
Go to topic listing

  • Chatbox

    Load More
    You don't have permission to chat.
×
×
  • Create New...