RedRhino 75 Posted February 20, 2016 Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 (edited) Have you ever attempted to write your own rhyme? It's a wonderful way of passing some time. Try to be clever, Throughout this endeavor, Write us limerick that's better than mine. There was a young man from Kalamazoo. He carried a pistol tucked into his shoe. While he ran in a race, He tripped on his lace. Where once there were five, there are now only two. Edited February 20, 2016 by RedRhino 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RedRhino 75 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 Nobody? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spacehog 2,218 Posted February 20, 2016 Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 There once was a President named Bush His Supreme Court nominee he did push So when Roberts was confirmed The Constitution was burned And America took it in the tush. Written in honor of Obamacare. Sorry the best I could do. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RedRhino 75 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 I just wanted to have some fun. No need to apologize. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HB of CJ 1,263 Posted February 20, 2016 Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 (edited) ..."A man from New Orleans" ... ... "Always ate too may Beans" ... ..." Again and Again" ... ..."Much to his Chagrin"... ..."He kept blowing holes through his Jeans" ... The End. Done in 5th grade. Teacher gave me a "D". Edited February 20, 2016 by HB of CJ 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RedRhino 75 Posted February 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 Deserving of a D+ at least. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jerry52 893 Posted February 20, 2016 Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you roller skate? I cannot sing either. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HB of CJ 1,263 Posted February 20, 2016 Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 "A dying leaf falls .. "And flutters from distant thunder." This was supposed to be one of those special Japanese short poems. Again 5th grade or so. Teacher gave me a "C" on this one. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HB of CJ 1,263 Posted February 20, 2016 Report Share Posted February 20, 2016 Another one. Not so much as a poem but something yelled out at the top of our lungs while pretending to attend Junior College ... "Kalla Ka Zip .. "Ka Zip Ka Zamm" "Son of a Bitch, God Damn" "Horses Ass, Cows Tittie" "We're The Band From Long Beach City." Marching song for the marching band from Long Beach City College, Long Beach California. About 1967 or so. Funny how dumb silly shit sticks with you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaddis 1,689 Posted February 21, 2016 Report Share Posted February 21, 2016 Channeling Andrew Dice Clay here. There once was a hermit named DaveWho Kept a dead whore in his caveShe was missing a titShe smelled like shitBut think of the money he saved Jack and Jill Went up the hillBoth of them had a quarterJill came down with fifty centsAnd Jack came down with a boner Nick the prick had a forty ft. dick,He showed it to the lady next door.She thought it was a snake,And hit it with a rake,And now it's only four ft.four. There once was a whore on the dockFrom dusk until dawn she sucked cock'Til one day it's saidShe gave so much headShe exploded and whitewashed the block Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard,to get her poor dog a bone.But when she bent over,old Rover drove her,Cause Rover had a bone of his own. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
XD45 7,124 Posted February 21, 2016 Report Share Posted February 21, 2016 Wrote this in high school (hard to believe almost 30 years ago now) For those who write on bathroom walls There should be built in mighty halls In honor of their shining wit A giant statue made of shit And carved upon this giant turd Should be inscribed the poet's word "They paint these walls to hide my pen" "But the Shithouse Poet strikes again!" Funny that I would remember that and can't remember my wife's birthday. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RedRhino 75 Posted February 21, 2016 Author Report Share Posted February 21, 2016 That's actually pretty good. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
patriot 7,197 Posted February 21, 2016 Report Share Posted February 21, 2016 What can I say? Grumpy Cat's a genius! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cscharlie 107 Posted February 21, 2016 Report Share Posted February 21, 2016 Casey Jones was a son of a bitch He wrecked His train in a 40 foot ditch Broke the boiler and scalded His balls and shit all over his over alls 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HB of CJ 1,263 Posted February 21, 2016 Report Share Posted February 21, 2016 The version we learned long ago and far away way ... Casey Jones was a son of a bitch .. Drove his train into a 40 foot ditch ... Climbed out of the wreck with his cock in his hand ... Cried "Son of a Bitch ... I'm a hell of a man." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cscharlie 107 Posted February 21, 2016 Report Share Posted February 21, 2016 That was the version I kind a picked up being in the garage around a bunch of rednecks that drank a lot of beer when working on cars over the weekend. You should have seen my third grade teachers face when I handed it in as my favorite poem... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
G O B 3,516 Posted February 22, 2016 Report Share Posted February 22, 2016 He wed a young girl from Brighton He thought he had found a tight 'un He "oh my love it fits like a GLOVE!" she said "yiur NOT in the RIGHT 'un! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TapeWorm3 104 Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 There once was a whore from the Azores Her twat was all covered in sores The dogs in the street ate the green meat that hung in festoons from her drawers 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Long Shot 1,287 Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 There once was a madman from Kalamazoo Got a hard on for people so he shot a few In the parking lot at a Cracker Barrel As for motive seems he just went ferrel Uber driver that lost a screw Over at the car lot where they sell em used Cops say he wasn't drugged up or boozed With a Lunatic heart and a lunatic mind Rampage of the most cowardly kind Six lives taken the devil mused 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
poolingmyignorance 2,191 Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 Jack and Jill went up the hill to do the hanky panky Jack went "uh" and Jill whent "uh" and now there's little Franky. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
U.S. Pratorean 1,234 Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 No limerick about the guy from Nantucket? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sobrenegade 795 Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 No limerick about the guy from Nantucket? There was a young man from Nantucket, Who had such a wang he could suck it. He said with a grin as he wiped off his chin, "if my ear was a cunt I would fuck it". 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Doug Hartley 526 Posted February 23, 2016 Report Share Posted February 23, 2016 There once was a man from Boston, Who rode around in an Austin He had room for his ass and a gallon of gas, His balls hung out and he lost 'em. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
G O B 3,516 Posted February 24, 2016 Report Share Posted February 24, 2016 There was a young man from Kent his cock was so long ,it bent to save him the trouble, he stuffed it in double instead of coming he went! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
U.S. Pratorean 1,234 Posted February 25, 2016 Report Share Posted February 25, 2016 Little miss Muffett sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey, Along came a spider and sat down beside her and said, "What's in the bowl, bitch"? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
G O B 3,516 Posted February 25, 2016 Report Share Posted February 25, 2016 I once knew a harlot named Lou, My god how that woman could screw! after 12 years of whoredom, She'd die of shear bordom if she wed an old bastard like YOU! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaddis 1,689 Posted February 26, 2016 Report Share Posted February 26, 2016 Little miss Muffett sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey, Along came a spider and sat down beside her, And she beat the shit out of it with the spoon. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sccritterkiller 473 Posted February 26, 2016 Report Share Posted February 26, 2016 There was a young maid from Madras Who had a magnificent ass; Not rounded and pink, As you probably think - It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
G O B 3,516 Posted February 26, 2016 Report Share Posted February 26, 2016 There was a young girl from Nizes, whose tits were two different sizes one was so small it was nothing at all the OTHER was large and won prizes! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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