A Man of God Joined Him Wednesday

[JDeko 792]

My father, a devoted pastor who loved Jesus and never shied away from ministering the faith to those in need, lost his 10 year battle with kidney cancer Wednesday April 19th 2017 at 10:46pm. I don't know if he was with his body at the time but we all were, even my mum [his ex-wife]. He was a great and kind man, so kind I went forever not realizing how above and beyond he went to help and support me since he never paused a moment when I asked him for something. 

 

Its so surreal, all the little things left undone and all the potential and possibilities that have been lost along with him. I dread that all the trees we planted at his house will probably get clear cut, and that we never got to plant the bushes he wanted on the back fence or the ones I wanted to plant on the side fence. Not to mention the Irish Moss. He pestered me like a kid for candy on the way back from radiation but he never opened his Reece's Pieces. I never got to cook him any of the giant cans of hominy either.

 

We don't even know if he actually had a will since his closed head injury from 1995 in retrospect was creeping back up on him in the last couple years, I remember forcing down thoughts of whether or not he was contracting Alzheimer's. Hopefully I can still have the 1997 Crown Victoria he gave me for my 16th birthday but kept in his name for the last 11 years because he was too kind and I was too nervous to ever get my license.

 

My greatest solace is that his in a better place and that I'll see him again some day. I'd only started to sheepishly tell him how much I appreciated all his sacrifices when he drove me every Saturday out to White Lotus Farms in Ann Arbor to pet the goats for hours on end even though he never got the appeal and just ended up to listening to FNC on the satellite radio. 

 

He was a great man and I hope I can be that great a person some day when I have kids. I hope that he can see me finally become someone someday, because I can't stay a child forever.

[jerry52 893]

Sounds like you had a great dad sorry for your loss.

Just use all God and your dad have given you and it will work out.

[Heartbreaker 1,085]

My condolences. He sounds like a great man.

[evlblkwpnz 3,418]

By God's grace you had a father like that. He sounds like a father to be very thankful for. I am very sorry for your loss.

[Sim_Player 1,939]

I'm sorry for the loss.

 

There is some solice in being able to prepare mentally and physically.

 

It sounds like he loved you. That's all that matters.

 

God blessed you with a good father. There must have been a reason.

 

Just my 2 cents....

Edited April 24, 2017 by Sim_Player

[HB of CJ 1,263]

I am very sorry for your great loss.  Dad and I never got along.  I was out of the house at age 18.  We did not speak.  But ... this DOES RELATE with your Dads death as well as mine.  Dad died about 10 years ago.  About 84.  Just old age.  Amazing he made it so long.  But he did.

 

One night out of the blue he up and called me on my cell.  We talked for 42 minutes.  Surprised me greatly.  He was very civil for once.  So was I.  He actually apologized for being such an asshole and failed Dad.  I apologized for being such a wild son.  We laughed. We remembered. 

 

He died eight hours later peaceably in his sleep after a full day of activities common with his age. I still wonder if he knew his time was very short.  My feeble failed point is that lots of us, (ME) ENVY THE RELATIONSHIP YOU HAD WITH YOUR DAD. He is dead.  You were lucky.

 

My forty two minuted cell phone conversation is still treasured.  You Dad had a religious belief system.  My Dad did not.  Agnostic.  I also RIGHT NOW am a Pragmatic Agnostic.  BUT ... perhaps now I better understand what religion is all about. I am very sorry your Dad is Dead.

 

Most Respectfully.

[Spacehog 2,219]

I am so sorry for your loss. Your Dad sounds like wonderful man, that loved you dearly. Take solace in knowing that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord that he served so faithfully. From your description it sounds like great is the reward he has stored up in heaven. May the peace of Jesus be upon you during this difficult time.

[sjgusmc21 850]

Very sorry for your loss, but it does sound like you both loved each other a great deal. 

[Lone Star Arms 2,048]

So sorry to learn of you Dad's passing, Deko. Words are never enough to console in the reality of such a tremendous loss. Clearly, he was a terrific Dad.  May God bless and keep him. His love for you, and yours for him will abide.

[YOT 3,743]

I offer my sincere condolences for your loss. I hope he is at peace.

[Capt Nemo 883]

Let it be tears of joy for he was saved!  With my father, he wasn't, so I'll never get to see him again. 

[DLT 1,646]

Sorry for your loss.

[Ronin38 2,117]

Sorry to hear that, my condolences to you and your family. My Dad passed in 1998 after a long illness, it was hard on all of us. Thankfully, I was able to live at home full-time for the last 3 years and help with everything. 

[Cobra 76 two 2,677]

I'm so very sorry for your loss JDeko. Hits close to home as I just found out my own Dad has seriously advanced lung cancer now and was just given about a 10% survival rating even with Chemo and Radiation. Cancer is such a horrible thing... Anyway I'm sorry he sounds like a great man and a great father.

[getitat 609]

Hello, JDeko

 

It's clear from your post he was a special person. No question he had a very special place reserved for him a long time ago.

We always seem to have a myriad of things we wish we had done or discussed with our loved ones. That's a good justification for living in His image and talking to Him when you fail, so you can see them again.

Be the person that would make your Dad proud..

 

It gets easier every day.

 

-Guido in TX

[BlackHeart762 288]

sorry to hear of your loss.

 

All of us face the loss of loved ones, and all of us will leave some behind.

BH

[Ronin38 2,117]

There is a quote I often think of at times of transition like this. It speaks of a fictional space station, but can be applied to any home or favorite place. It was spoken by the character of G'kar on the show Babylon 5:

 

"I believe that when we leave a place a part of it goes with us and part of us remains. Go anywhere in these halls, when it is quiet and just listen. After a while you will hear the echoes of all of our conversations, every thought and word we’ve exchanged. Long after we are gone, our voices will linger in these walls for as long as this place remains. But I will admit that the part of me that is going will very much miss the part of you that is staying."

 

The part of us that is staying, will greatly miss the part of those that have gone.

[Gaddis 1,689]

So sorry to hear about your loss, JDeko.  Like others have said here, he sounds like he was a stand up guy.

 

I think there is something to this "we'll see them again" stuff too.  Never had any deceased human family members come and visit me from the afterlife yet (Gaddis, what are you doing in the bathroom for so long? ), but I could have sworn the dog I grew up with (a German Shepard named Baron) tried coming to visit me when he passed away.  He died at night from what they think was a stroke (he was an old dog (16+ years old) at the time) while I was stationed at Ft. Devens, and I woke up from a deep sleep that night having a hard time trying to catch my breath (thought for a second that the barracks were on fire), and I''m not asthmatic or anything.  

 

The really strange thing was that my Mom (who was visiting her relatives in Austria at the time (thousands of miles away from NJ)) also had a very vivid dream she thinks was around that time too where she said she saw Baron staring at her (I guess the dream was in black and white?), and she said he looked like he was standing in the center of a spotlight beam or something.   

 

So who really knows about this death and dying stuff and what awaits for us all afterwards?

[kevinfreel 215]

Sincerest condolences to you and your family JDeko.

[Rhodes1968 1,638]

Condolences from us to you and yours. 

[JDeko 792]

So sorry to hear about your loss, JDeko.  Like others have said here, he sounds like he was a stand up guy.

 

I think there is something to this "we'll see them again" stuff too.  Never had any deceased human family members come and visit me from the afterlife yet (Gaddis, what are you doing in the bathroom for so long? ), but I could have sworn the dog I grew up with (a German Shepard named Baron) tried coming to visit me when he passed away.  He died at night from what they think was a stroke (he was an old dog (16+ years old) at the time) while I was stationed at Ft. Devens, and I woke up from a deep sleep that night having a hard time trying to catch my breath (thought for a second that the barracks were on fire), and I''m not asthmatic or anything.

 

The really strange thing was that my Mom (who was visiting her relatives in Austria at the time (thousands of miles away from NJ)) also had a very vivid dream she thinks was around that time too where she said she saw Baron staring at her (I guess the dream was in black and white?), and she said he looked like he was standing in the center of a spotlight beam or something.   

 

So who really knows about this death and dying stuff and what awaits for us all afterwards?

 

My dad supposedly had a 4 hour conversation with his last deceased dog [whom he bought as a companion after the divorce] and honestly aside from my dad now if I were dying I can't think of a more comforting face to see than my childhood Beagle-Weiner. I don't doubt he saw Buddy, and since dogs supposedly have the intelligence of a 7 year old child maybe given divine translation you could talk to them. I'd like to know if Penelope was as conceited as she acted or maybe she was just bad at expressing her emotions.

 

There were quite a few "brain cancer delusions" that I think were just him piercing the veil and seeing things most people don't get the chance to share seeing. Like a crowd of people shrouded in static telling him if he lied down in his bed he'd die that night a while back, or a moose practicing on a trumpet and telling him if he interrupted the practice the moose would kill him where he stood. Only reason I'm not completely sure that was an Angel [look at how weird Angel's are described as  looking in the Bible] is because I wasn't told he opened with "be not afraid."

[Gaddis 1,689]

I know my Grandfather (on my Mom's side) who was an avowed atheist (because he always thought it was hypocritical for the Vatican to have billions of dollars in assets yet they gave none of it to the poor who they then also encouraged to procreate as much as possible ) exclaimed "look how beautiful it all is" just before he passed away after being given a too large dose of insulin (even though he wasn't even a diabetic) after going to the local hospital in Austria for a heart attack he had suffered.

 

If I learned anything from all this, it's:

 

1. If he saw something, and then exclaimed about it (being a totally no-nonsense guy in life), I'm pretty sure there is something to it.  

 

23. Socialized medicine sucks (so screw all you Progressives), because the family couldn't sue for dick even though the hospital admitted that they had totally fucked up by giving him insulin after the heart attack (much less an excessive dose of it too).

 

And man, if I had a vision where I saw a crowd of people shrouded in static telling me I was gonna die if I lied down I don't think I'd want to die either.

Edited April 25, 2017 by Gaddis

[G O B 3,516]

Still miss Dad every day. It has been 35 years or so, but I still hear him, as I remember his advice, or I measure 3 times and hear him laugh at me!