There is another thread where some dude tried to do a home made oil flush by running water through his oil cap.

GOT STUPID? Confess to the carnage.

When I was sixteen I burnt the engine up in a nice lincoln because I didn't pay attention at all to the temperature gauge. Actually I did see it but I had some place to be in 15 minutes you know what I mean?

I stripped a spark plug hole once but I recovered from that. Bigger problem is it got me flighty and flustered and I quickly tried to back out of the garage. With the door closed. Ouch

I sat on a girl friend's baby bird and killed it.

Got totally plastered at happy hour with the wife. When I started the engine (new truck) I revved it a little and she shrieks BE CAREFUL. I look around and there wasn't another car anywhere in the lot so I slammed it into reverse and gunned it. UNFORTUNATELY there was a light pole that applied the e=mc2 formula that crumpled my bumper.

Thats about it off the top of my head. My brother couldn't get the concept of setting the parking brake and putting his truck in reverse in his cranium at all and it rolled down the hill and hit my house twice.

The last one, about your brother jodded my memory...........................

I was at my ex's mother's house for a BBQ. She lived on a medium size hill, not too steep, but steep enough to get a car rolling pretty good if you let it.

So My ex's car was already there when I pulled up. I get about <5" away from her rear bumper (so I wouldn't block the driveway), put it gear, and pulled the E-brake.

About an hour in, I have to go to the store for more supplies. I jump in my car, push the clutch in, start it up, pull up on the E-brake with the button in.......(this is how I had to do it, being that I was so close to her car, and facing downhill. It would've rolled into it, had I just gassed it while letting the clutch out, with it in reverse)......and proceed to give it a good amount of gas while letting the clutch out and letting the E-brake down, to back up quickly before I rolled into her car.

Well............I forgot that I stupidly put it in 1st when I parked it, and not checked when I started it back up. I blasted her rear bumper, and left a good size crack in it, right to the side of the license plate . I thought for sure, everyone out behind the house would come around the corner, to see what happened. But apparently no one heard it, and I never told her about it, once she saw the damage . When I got back, I parked across the street, and she didn't know that my car was behind hers before I left to the store. This was about 5 years ago, and she still doesn't know .

I'm sure I can think of some other dumb stuff I did, give me time.

Well, the best part is... NOW SHES GOING TO... unless I start receiving $20.00 each week in my "extortion-pal" account.

Maybe we had better make it $50.00 each week... ammo prices are climbing steadily... I need to keep ahead of things...




LOL!!! He was not only a TARD... he did it TWICE... he was a RE-TARD!!!!

Thats too funny...

Ok, so what have I done dumb... well, I think the list is too long to type... but the funny ones... hmm....

Well, I had some asshole tailgating me, and wailing on the horn... so I turned the car sideways in the road and slammed on the brakes... they werent as clever... CLUNK... got a big ol crunch in my rear driver side quarterpanel/trunk/bumper... I thought it would be HIS fault for hitting me... I was enlightened by the state troopers that such was not to be the case... cost me almost 600 bucks for a new light assembly, and just enough body work to get it to go back in place... and my car is a dented mess now, and the trunk dont work right anymore... That was pretty fucking stupid of me... I know theres LOTS more, but I will have to think to recall any... LOL

One time, almost, me.

I was a young buck with a stroked HD FXR. I had a little half shell helmet I kept strapped to the back seat for the babes, because it carried so well. Anyway, one day my main helmet was stolen, loss, or something, so of course I go for the backup.

As I am riding down the Interstate this thing would work its way loose and start a hi-speed rattle on my head, very annoying!!!

After it had done this 4 or 5 times I got really pissed and grabbed a good handful of helmet strap and really cinched it down good and tight. Everything was fine; no rattle at all, for about 10 seconds anyway. Then I realized that I could not breathe!

There I was doing about 80 MPH in the far left lane of the I-26 with my airway completely shut off! Of course I was wearing huge thick leather gauntlet style gloves and it was cold, so my hands were somewhat numb! I could not get the damned thing off!

On top of this some guy in a Family Truckster Station Wagon was in the next lane right, pacing me. He and his entire brood had their faces pressed up against the glass, wondering what funny thing I was going to do next. Of course I had the required and expected truck on my rear tire, upset that I had dare slow down in the left lane!

With the world starting to go gray I did what every experienced motorcyclist knows is the most probable way to escape death, I dropped a gear and gunned it.

After I accelerated out of the box I got it over in the far right medium and slowed almost to a stop, I managed to get the stand down before I fell off the bike onto the ground. I had got my gloves off and kept clawing at the straps and D rings, I was about to black out when I remembered my knife and wondered at the probability of my success in pulling off an emergency self-administered tracheotomy. I knew I was going to die as the result of this damned helmet and kind of laughed to myself that even if someone stopped, that with my luck they would have been Red Cross trained to "Never try and remove the Helmet from a Motorcyclist if he has been in an accident."

Suddenly the strap came lose and I lay there in the cold sucking up air, glad that I was not doomed to be a poster child for ABATE in their crusade against helmet laws!

I had unprotected sex with IndyArms' avatar chick and ended up with this odd rash.......

Don't worry about it! That is just a glass burn from rubbing up against your monitor....

Ohhh, ok.




do they make a cream for that??

Got off of my Harley, walked away from it and forgot to put the kickstand down. Couldnt be lucky enough to have it happen by myself so I could make some story up, there were 2 other riders there to witness it.

Thats been 20 years ago and I still hear about it.

That and riding too close behind a horse trailer and wondering how it was raining on a beautiful sunny day.

I might have to break down and tell a "terry" story soon....LOL.....I got you ALL beat, and it wasnt even me that did it!!!!

I love retarded stories in day to day life, you guys have no idea! the BEST i tell ya.

hell, we all do! bring em on!!!

I didn't know there were that many people into bikes on this forum.

My worst story was having my gas petcock break and piss gas all in my lap on a bright sunny humid day. Well i got it to the side of the road and made a call for a truck to carry my ass home. well while waiting i started feeling this strange burning sensation on the nether regions... got so bad I started going through peoples backyards looking for a hose to stick in my pants to rinse myself off with, but just my luck no one seemed to have a damn garden hose! I got a whole lot of dirty looks that day dancing around from yard to yard.No one really cares to hear your plight in this situation it seems...

I can't tell you how glad i was to get home and take a shower. I made the joke afterward that i knew what it was like to have a STD now... few people seemed to get it.

The bike stories brought back another one. I think I either told this one, or at least hinted to it, in a motorcycle thread we had here.


2 or 3 years ago, I was helping my uncle move some stuff. One of the items was his old Suzuki 250 (RM, I think?). He had asked me if I wanted to take it for a spin down the street and back, so of course I said "Sure!". He apparently assumed I had ridden before, and didn't offer any advice, and I asked for none, either. I was going on the advice of "Dude, you're car is 5-speed. If you can work the gears/clutch in that, you can easily ride a bike", from a guy I used to work with.

So he starts it up and I jump on it. Even though he didn't show me how to ride it, I was aware of what was what; left handle=clutch, left foot=gear shifter, right handle=front brake, right foot=back brake, 1st gear was down, neutral is in between 1st and 2nd, the rest were up.

So I pull the clutch, kick it down into 1st and end up giving it way too much gas while dumping the clutch. I made it about 20 feet with the front wheel up for most of it and me hanging on for dear life, and put it into some bushes. I now have a 1' scar on my shin, thanks to the footpeg .

I'm the kind of guy who can laugh at myself, so I would pay good money for video of what happened that day .


(Damn. With this story, and my last, I think I need to stay away from manual vehicles )