Rockina 60 Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2020:,,, Study proves it's the Ozone created by electric cars that is now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly the state of California,,, White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language,,, The Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock,,, Baby conceived naturally! Scientists are stumped,,, Texas Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage,,, Iran still closed off to the outside world; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels,,, France pleads for global help after being taken over by Lichtenstein and Walmart. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!,,, Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Nate Pelosi has banned all smoking,,, George Z. Bush announces he will run for President in 2036,,, Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only, meanwhile Federal Express and United Parcel Service announce record profits of over 600 Trillion in the first quarter alone,,, An extensive Government funded 85-year $75.8 billion study finds: Diet and exercise are the keys to weight loss,,, Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs,,, Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba,,, Japanese scientists have just created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut,,, Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4,532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays,,, Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative,,, Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights and has asked for a plan to free all those in custody by years end,,, The average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches, there is talk of rasing the hoop height from 14' to 16',,, A new federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, rolled-up newspapers and steak knives must be registered by January 2024,,, IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent and for the wealthy (those over $ 25,000) for others it remains at 86%,,, Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines,,, Record shortfall in the economy are once again predicted since payments to former prisoners from Iraq of over 40 Billion are due again this quarter,,, Send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what...NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might be very,very scared.,,,I Love This Country! It's The Government That Scares Me!,,, 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
chevyman097 2,579 Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 Now thats crackin me up, im getting funny looks reading this at work. lol The closer I get to the end though....the more I think, its sad, this is what direction our country really is heading! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
swells08 128 Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 LOL!... I love sattire...good stuff. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ktcm7271 999 Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 Freakin' hysterical! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
volkov 318 Posted January 27, 2010 Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 seems pretty on the ball.. got an tips for the stock market? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rockina 60 Posted January 27, 2010 Author Report Share Posted January 27, 2010 Haiti added as the 58th state Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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