Bayoupiper 738 Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 PARIS: The surgery in the private clinic off the Champs-Élysées involved one semicircular cut, 10 self-dissolving stitches and a discounted fee of $2,900. But for the patient, a 23-year-old French student of Moroccan descent from Montpellier, the 30-minute procedure represented the key to a new life: the illusion of virginity. Like an increasing number of other Muslim women in Europe, she had a "hymenoplasty," a restoration of her hymen, the thin vaginal membrane that normally breaks during the first act of intercourse. "In my culture, not to be a virgin is to be dirt," said the student, perched on a hospital bed as she awaited surgery Thursday. "Right now, virginity is more important to me than life." As Europe's Muslim population grows, many young Muslim women find themselves caught between the freedoms that European society affords and the deep-rooted traditions of their parents' and grandparents' generations. Gynecologists report that in the past few years, more Muslim women are asking for certificates of virginity before marriage. That trend in turn has created a demand among cosmetic surgeons for hymen replacements, which, if done properly, they say, will not be detected and will produce tell-tale vaginal bleeding on the wedding night. The service is widely advertised on the Internet; there are medical tourism packages to countries like Tunisia where the procedure is less expensive. "If you're a Muslim woman growing up in more open societies in Europe, you can easily end up having sex before marriage," said Hicham Mouallem, a doctor in London who performs the surgery. "So if you're looking to marry a Muslim and don't want to have problems, you'll try to recapture your virginity." There are no reliable statistics on how many women undergo the procedure because it is mostly done in private clinics and in most cases is not covered by tax-financed insurance plans. But the subject of hymen repair is becoming so talked about that it has become the subject of a film comedy that opens in Italy this week. "Women's Hearts," as its title is translated in English, tells the story of a Moroccan-born woman living in Italy who takes a road trip to Casablanca for the operation. "We realized that what we thought was a sporadic practice was actually pretty common," said Davide Sordella, the director. "These women can live in Italy, adopt our mentality and wear jeans. But in the moments that matter, they don't always have the strength to go against their culture." The issue has been particularly charged in France, where there has been a renewed and fierce debate about a prejudice that was supposed to have been buried with the country's sexual revolution 40 years ago: the importance of a woman's virginity. The furor followed the revelation two weeks ago that a court in the northern city of Lille had annulled the 2006 marriage of two French Muslims after the groom discovered his bride was not the virgin she had claimed to be. The domestic saga has gripped the nation. The bridegroom, an unidentified engineer in his 30s, left the nuptial bed and announced to the still-partying wedding guests that his bride had lied about her past. She was delivered that night to her parents' doorstep. The next day, he asked a lawyer to annul the marriage. The bride, then a nursing student in her 20s, confessed the truth to the court and agreed to an annulment. In its ruling, there was no mention of religion. Rather, it cited breach of contract, concluding that he had married her after "she was presented to him as single and chaste." In secular, republican France, the case touches on several sensitive subjects: the intrusion of religion into daily life, the grounds for dissolution of a marriage and the equality of the sexes. There were calls in Parliament this week for the resignation of Rachida Dati, the minister of justice, after she upheld the ruling. Dati, who is a Muslim, backed down and ordered an appeal. Some feminists, lawyers and doctors warned that the court's acceptance of the centrality of virginity in marriage would encourage more French women from Arab and African Muslim backgrounds to have their hymens rebuilt. But there is much debate over whether the procedure is an act of liberation or repression. "The judgment was a betrayal of France's Muslim women," said Elizabeth Badinter, a feminist writer. "It sends these women a message of despair by saying that virginity is important in the eyes of the law. More women are going to say to themselves: 'My God, I'm not going to take that risk. I'll recreate my virginity."' The plight of the rejected bride persuaded the Montpellier student to go ahead with the surgery. She insisted that she had never had intercourse and said that she had discovered her hymen was torn only when she tried to obtain a certificate of virginity to present to her boyfriend and his family. She said she had bled after an accident on a horse when she was 10. The trauma of realizing that she could not prove her virginity was so intense, she said, that she quietly took out a loan to pay for the procedure. "All of a sudden, virginity is important in France," she said. "I realized that I could be seen like that woman everyone is talking about on television." Surgeons who perform the procedure said they were empowering their patients by giving them a viable future and preventing them from being abused - or even killed - by their fathers or brothers. "Who am I to judge?" asked Marc Abecassis, the plastic surgeon who restored the Montpellier student's hymen. "I have colleagues in the United States whose patients do this as a Valentine's present to their husbands. What I do is different. This is not for amusement. My patients don't have a choice if they want to find serenity - and husbands." A specialist in what he calls "intimate" surgery, including penile enhancement, Abecassis says he performs two to four hymen restorations a week. The French College of Gynecologists and Obstetricians opposes the hymen procedure on moral, cultural and health grounds. "We had a revolution in France to win equality; we had a sexual revolution in 1968 when women fought for contraception and abortion," said Jacques Lansac, the association's president. "Attaching so much importance to the hymen is regression, submission to the intolerance of the past." But the stories of the women who have had the surgery capture the complexity and raw emotion behind their decision. One 32-year-old Macedonian-born Muslim said that she had chosen the surgery to avoid being punished by her father after her relationship with her boyfriend of eight years ended. "I was afraid that my father would take me to a doctor and see whether I was still a virgin," said the woman, who owns a small business and lives on her own in Frankfurt. "He told me, 'I will forgive everything, but not if you have thrown dirt on my honor.' I wasn't afraid he would kill me, but I was sure he would have beaten me." In other cases, the woman and her partner together decide on the surgery. A 26-year-old French woman of Moroccan descent said she lost her virginity four years ago when she fell in love with the man she was now planning to marry. She and her fiancé decided to share the cost of her $3,400 hymen replacement surgery in Paris. His extended family in Morocco is very conservative, she said, and required that a gynecologist - and family friend - in Morocco examine her for proof of virginity before their wedding. "It doesn't matter for my fiancé that I am not a virgin, but it would pose a huge problem for his family," she said. "They know that you can pour blood on the sheets on the wedding night, so I have to have better proof." Meanwhile, the lives of the young French couple whose marriage was annulled are on hold. The Justice Ministry has asked the Lille prosecutor for an appeal, arguing that the court decision "provoked a heated social debate" that "touched all citizens of our country and especially women." At the Islamic Center of Roubaix, the suburb of Lille where the marriage took place, there is sympathy for the woman. "The man is the biggest of all the donkeys," said Abdelkibir Errami, the center's vice president. "Even if the woman was no longer a virgin, he had no right to expose her honor. This is not what Islam teaches. It teaches forgiveness." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shaneman153a 39 Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Good to see Muslim women embracing Western morals!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MCASgt New River 10,036 Posted June 12, 2008 Report Share Posted June 12, 2008 Can they do "beforeshelearnedtospeakoplasty?" Ahhh....if you could only get them to stop talking again. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MrTuffPaws 2 Posted June 12, 2008 Report Share Posted June 12, 2008 Good to see Muslim women embracing Western morals!! Yeah, that's what I was thinking. This procedure has been available in the west since the 70's Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Koliadko 207 Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 (edited) Can they do "beforeshelearnedtospeakoplasty?" Ahhh....if you could only get them to stop talking again. * Edited June 14, 2008 by Racegal20 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra 76 two 2,677 Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Damn....that's the second reference in a week. Dudes....if ya want to call me and chat just send me a smoke signal. I'll start a fire out back and we can talk in peace... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Koliadko 207 Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 (edited) Damn....that's the second reference in a week. Dudes....if ya want to call me and chat just send me a smoke signal. I'll start a fire out back and we can talk in peace... * Edited June 14, 2008 by Racegal20 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Koliadko 207 Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 (edited) *** Edited June 14, 2008 by Racegal20 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gunfixr 76 Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Damn....that's the second reference in a week. Dudes....if ya want to call me and chat just send me a smoke signal. I'll start a fire out back and we can talk in peace... Man, hope I didn't piss off Racegal the other day with that conversation. Sorry if I did. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Koliadko 207 Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 (edited) Damn....that's the second reference in a week. Dudes....if ya want to call me and chat just send me a smoke signal. I'll start a fire out back and we can talk in peace... Man, hope I didn't piss off Racegal the other day with that conversation. Sorry if I did. Ya didn't. Just mentioning that guys talk alot seems to have started a shitstorm. My bad. Only women do that. Edited June 14, 2008 by Racegal20 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gunfixr 76 Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Didn't bother me, I know I can run my mouth about guns for hours. Took my wife years to get over it, but she did. We just joke about it now. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Azrial 1,091 Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Born again virgins? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shaneman153a 39 Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 Didn't bother me, I know I can run my mouth about guns for hours. Took my wife years to get over it, but she did. We just joke about it now. +1, Dodgeturbo and I will talk about guns for hours while the wives just sit there with their mouths open wondering why we're so nerdy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SuAside 2 Posted June 14, 2008 Report Share Posted June 14, 2008 (edited) i don't really see how the court could've ruled otherwise. lying about something important to your spouse is indeed grounds for annulment. as for the whole surgery thing? pfft, seriously, that's their problem, not something to be solved legally. great how people are now getting told that lying and getting surgery is better than owning up to the decisions you took... edit: +1, Dodgeturbo and I will talk about guns for hours while the wives just sit there with their mouths open wondering why we're so nerdy. gets even worse when you're into guns & IT. Edited June 14, 2008 by SuA Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.