Personal Growth goals 2014

[jerry52 893]

 

 

Try to find that mythical and elusive bridge across generations between me and my 11 year old son.

I can mange a job site with forty plus tradesmen but haven't been able to figure out how to make my own son want to put down the video game control and come outside.

As the man of the house you control the breaker box. Maybe on your next day off the rooms that power the games and TVs experience some sort of electrical problems. Then you also can be the hero who 'fixes' the problem later that evening.

 

Try to find that mythical and elusive bridge across generations between me and my 11 year old son.

I can mange a job site with forty plus tradesmen but haven't been able to figure out how to make my own son want to put down the video game control and come outside.

Cut the power.

I know I can make him do it. The part I'm having trouble with is making him want to do it. The whole damn system is actually locked up in a box in the basement for couple of weeks now.

 

He's got a .22, a great little dirt bike , a thousand acres of forest land adjoining my property, a good population of grouse and cotton tails. Just no interest in any of it. Apparently these electronic screens are addicting.

 

It makes it tuff to relate. At his age that's the shit I lived for, hell it still is.

 

But that's what makes this my " Personal growth goal of 2014 " one of em anyway.

 

Having worked with teens and pre-teens I have found that as they start changing into young adults they move to what they feel secure with. Friends and the things friends do are a big part of that. Their thinking goes from accepting what you say to questioning everything. In short they are starting to think for themselves. This is the key! not to order them to do things but to challenge them to think about what is smart and what is dumb. It is frustrating to parents to have taught their kids right and wrong only to discover that when the hormones hit  you have to now prove what you have taught them because all is in question.

I am not saying  not to tell youth what to do ,just do it a little different.

You are a great parent and you need to be in his life every day. The kids I have worked with never had that option and raised themselves for the most part. I and others had the chance to be a role model for them and many are now parents going through what you are now. But they are active in their children's' lives.

Role model is the key because it is not your will but theirs that is on the line. Good  luck and God Bless.

[Dad2142Dad 6,559]

You may want to break out that game and play it with him. Let him teach you about it. 

[unclejake 428]

 

 

 

Try to find that mythical and elusive bridge across generations between me and my 11 year old son.

I can mange a job site with forty plus tradesmen but haven't been able to figure out how to make my own son want to put down the video game control and come outside.

As the man of the house you control the breaker box. Maybe on your next day off the rooms that power the games and TVs experience some sort of electrical problems. Then you also can be the hero who 'fixes' the problem later that evening.

 

Try to find that mythical and elusive bridge across generations between me and my 11 year old son.

I can mange a job site with forty plus tradesmen but haven't been able to figure out how to make my own son want to put down the video game control and come outside.

Cut the power.

I know I can make him do it. The part I'm having trouble with is making him want to do it. The whole damn system is actually locked up in a box in the basement for couple of weeks now.

 

He's got a .22, a great little dirt bike , a thousand acres of forest land adjoining my property, a good population of grouse and cotton tails. Just no interest in any of it. Apparently these electronic screens are addicting.

 

It makes it tuff to relate. At his age that's the shit I lived for, hell it still is.

 

But that's what makes this my " Personal growth goal of 2014 " one of em anyway.

 

Having worked with teens and pre-teens I have found that as they start changing into young adults they move to what they feel secure with. Friends and the things friends do are a big part of that. Their thinking goes from accepting what you say to questioning everything. In short they are starting to think for themselves. This is the key! not to order them to do things but to challenge them to think about what is smart and what is dumb. It is frustrating to parents to have taught their kids right and wrong only to discover that when the hormones hit  you have to now prove what you have taught them because all is in question.

I am not saying  not to tell youth what to do ,just do it a little different.

You are a great parent and you need to be in his life every day. The kids I have worked with never had that option and raised themselves for the most part. I and others had the chance to be a role model for them and many are now parents going through what you are now. But they are active in their children's' lives.

Role model is the key because it is not your will but theirs that is on the line. Good  luck and God Bless.

 

Jerry, years ago, I worked with the same type of youth. They either raised themselves, or were actually trying to take care of their parents or younger siblings. It is such a sad situation, with very few really good outcomes. Not able to do it now, but it was the most rewarding thing I have ever done! Puts things into perspective, for sure!

[Tundra1 391]

My 17 year old daughter never took an interest in shooting, hunting, fishing, canoeing, camping, mushroom hunting, the outdoors at all.  It was somewhat heartbreaking, but I never forced any interests on her.  I think it's best to just let kids find their own interests and be supportive of them.  Less rebellion that way.  I've also got a 3 year old daughter who loves to fish, hoping she will enjoy some of the things I do.  I can't wait to take her shooting, won't be long.  I see a 10/22 dressed in pink in the near future.

[jerry52 893]

 

 

 

 

Try to find that mythical and elusive bridge across generations between me and my 11 year old son.

I can mange a job site with forty plus tradesmen but haven't been able to figure out how to make my own son want to put down the video game control and come outside.

As the man of the house you control the breaker box. Maybe on your next day off the rooms that power the games and TVs experience some sort of electrical problems. Then you also can be the hero who 'fixes' the problem later that evening.

 

Try to find that mythical and elusive bridge across generations between me and my 11 year old son.

I can mange a job site with forty plus tradesmen but haven't been able to figure out how to make my own son want to put down the video game control and come outside.

Cut the power.

I know I can make him do it. The part I'm having trouble with is making him want to do it. The whole damn system is actually locked up in a box in the basement for couple of weeks now.

 

He's got a .22, a great little dirt bike , a thousand acres of forest land adjoining my property, a good population of grouse and cotton tails. Just no interest in any of it. Apparently these electronic screens are addicting.

 

It makes it tuff to relate. At his age that's the shit I lived for, hell it still is.

 

But that's what makes this my " Personal growth goal of 2014 " one of em anyway.

 

Having worked with teens and pre-teens I have found that as they start changing into young adults they move to what they feel secure with. Friends and the things friends do are a big part of that. Their thinking goes from accepting what you say to questioning everything. In short they are starting to think for themselves. This is the key! not to order them to do things but to challenge them to think about what is smart and what is dumb. It is frustrating to parents to have taught their kids right and wrong only to discover that when the hormones hit  you have to now prove what you have taught them because all is in question.

I am not saying  not to tell youth what to do ,just do it a little different.

You are a great parent and you need to be in his life every day. The kids I have worked with never had that option and raised themselves for the most part. I and others had the chance to be a role model for them and many are now parents going through what you are now. But they are active in their children's' lives.

Role model is the key because it is not your will but theirs that is on the line. Good  luck and God Bless.

 

Jerry, years ago, I worked with the same type of youth. They either raised themselves, or were actually trying to take care of their parents or younger siblings. It is such a sad situation, with very few really good outcomes. Not able to do it now, but it was the most rewarding thing I have ever done! Puts things into perspective, for sure!

 

I do not do it now, that's for the younger breed. I think you know what I mean . Heck when I was 39 they were calling me old.

But they all knew I cared for them.

[Remek 771]

After learning this new info, I guess I am of two thoughts:

 

Dad seems to make a good point. By doing that, you show it's not about you being the teacher, but simply doing the best thing to do well. Also, if you can actually compete some, he might have more reasons to respect you, and rethink his thought process due to your wishes.

 

Second, computers are addictive. Maybe he needs to hit his own bottom? After all, that's something a man has to do. The downside is you have to trust him. Forced compliance may only cause strife (as I am sure we all know, teens can hold a grudge forever with those hormones going crazy).

 

As a last thought, and this might sound crazy: get him laid (if he's old enough/can handle it mentally). I am of the general opinion that teens are so repressed by society, where the body is designed to be getting laid at those teen years. Just do so carefully!

[Long Shot 1,287]

You may want to break out that game and play it with him. Let him teach you about it.

 

Dad,

As much as I hate the idea of this I know your right. We made a deal about his grades a couple of months ago that if he got anything less than a C in any class the games go in a box. I think he decided to test weather or not I was bluffing even though I've never given him a reason to doubt my resolve. He's got a few weeks to figure out something else to fill his spare time. When he earns it back I'll have him teach me how to play it and try to convey that whole, all things in moderation thing.

 

Jerry,

Thank you for the sage advice and kind words. He's a good kid, polite, does his chores around the house. He's just completely satisfied with mediocrity. If we would let him he'd sit around staring at some sort of electronic screen, eat, poop, and sleep all day every day. Trying to get him to do anything that requires physical exertion is like pulling teeth. I know he'll come around but I definitely need a different approach than my O'l Pappy used with me.

I have couple of daughters, twenty seven and twenty five. One of them has a couple kids of her own. When they were growing up I was on the road nine to ten months a year for work. My boys are eleven and four. I won't let anything keep me from being here for them.

 

Remek,

Your right, that sounds pretty crazy, he's eleven. His favorite movies are still cartoons.

 

To your point about the addictive properties of electronic devices; that's got me in a quandary. I guess that's how my Dad felt about rock&roll when I was growing up in the 70's. brings me back to the all things in moderation theme.

 

Tundra1,

It's funny how different kids develop such different interests. My four year old is high speed low drag, everything outdoors is good. He'll go five miles in the woods with me at a brisk pace and love every second of it telling his older brother to keep up. If its got a motor he wants to ride it. If it shoots a projectile he wants to be there to see it. He thinks power tools are the greatest things ever made, his favorite is a toss up between the chain saw and the excavator.

I completely agree with letting a kid peruse their interests, I just got to help him get interested in something besides electronic devices and food.

[jerry52 893]

Sounds like a dad on a mission. Dads make the best role models even when we did not realize it when we were kids.

The best to you and your son,

[MAAnew 162]

amen

[Einstein69 8]

quitting alcohol is tough, but the reward is mighty and life changing if you can hang........

where's the weed at?

alcohol and cigarette free since june 2013. really hard to do when you live in a city where drinking is 24 hours a day everyday.

i gotta bring and show the LOVE in 2014 and just make life a life worth living. BE HAPPY.

godbless my girls.

[Long Shot 1,287]

Pleased to report,

 

The boy got his grades up last week, finally. That was a long road. First thing he wanted his video game back.... Well a deal is a deal so I got it hooked up for him and invited him out in the hills for round of target practice.

 

He's got a Thompson Hot Shot youth .22 that he's gotten pretty good with. I brought along an AR and an XDM as well. We set up a steel clanger at about 50 Yds , he started with his .22 then ran three mags through the AR (first time with center fire ) and did pretty good. We took turns with the two rifles. Walked, talked, got some fresh air, seen some critters. All in all a good afternoon, just me and the boy. Of course not the first time I've taken him out but something was different for him this time. I think it was because he felt like he had actually accomplished something by getting his grades in shape.

 

Thank you all for the feed back a while ago. It does help.