USMC / NAVY Rules for Gunfighting

[joelrod47 373]

USMC Rules For Gunfighting

 

1. Bring a gun. Preferably, bring at least two guns. Bring all of your

friends who have guns.

 

2. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life

is

expensive.

 

3. Only hits count. The only thing worse than a miss is a slow miss.

 

4. If your shooting stance is good, you're probably not moving fast

enough

nor using cover correctly.

 

5. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and

diagonal movements are preferred.)

 

6. If you can choose what to bring to a gunfight, bring a long gun and

a

friend with a long gun.

 

7. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or

tactics. They will only remember who lived.

 

8. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating, reloading, and

running.

 

9. Accuracy is relative: most combat shooting standards will be more

dependent on "pucker factor" than the inherent accuracy of the gun.

 

10. Use a gun that works EVERY TIME.

 

11. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should

have to

beat you to death with it because it is empty.

 

12. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you

lose.

 

13. Have a plan.

 

14. Have a back-up plan, because the first one won't work.

 

15. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

 

16. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

 

17. Don't drop your guard.

 

18. Always tactical load and threat scan 360 degrees.

 

19. Watch their hands. Hands kill. (In God we trust. Everyone else,

keep

your hands where I can see them).

 

20. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.

 

21. The faster you finish the fight, the less shot up you will get.

 

22. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you

meet.

 

23. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

 

24. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun, the caliber of which does

not

start with a "4."

 

 

Navy Rules for Gunfighting

 

1. Go to Sea

 

2. Send the Marines

 

3. Drink Coffee

 

Sorry, guys........realized after the fact that this should have been posted in "funny stuff".............

Edited November 20, 2006 by Jeaux E

[Juggernaut 11,054]

Funny stuff. The USMC may be the DEPT. of the NAVY. but its the MEN'S DEPARTMENT!

 

God Bless all of you who have served! much Thanks!

 

You know what ARMY stands for, right?

 

Ain't Ready for the Marines Yet!

 

SOMEBODY STOP ME!

[G O B 3,516]

Why did I enlist in the Navy?

 

When the defecation interfaces with the rotary ossilator, the Navy loads up the marines, takes them to where the interface is occurring, blows up everything in sight, drops off the Marines and LEAVES!

 

(P.S. Thank God for the Core! A Russian General was once asked if there was anything in the American arsenal that he feared. He immediatly answered yes, the U.S.M.C.!)

[Gaddis 1,689]

Um, you do mean "Corps," right?

 

Come on, don't give the Navy a black eye. Counting and spelling is still (hopefully!) something the Squids can still manage to score slightly higher on in the ASVAB than the Jarheads do.

 

Just joking here. Our "slower" Marine compadres do get the job done when it does come time to kick some serious enemy ass (and that's all what counts in the end!).

[joelrod47 373]

Um, you do mean "Corps," right?

 

Come on, don't give the Navy a black eye. Counting and spelling is still (hopefully!) something the Squids can still manage to score slightly higher on in the ASVAB than the Jarheads do.

 

Just joking here. Our "slower" Marine compadres do get the job done when it does come time to kick some serious enemy ass (and that's all what counts in the end!).

 

........oh, and let's not forget how well those stripe-legged bell-hops do at carrying our seabags.......

(also just joking.........some of my best buds over the years were Marines..........)

[Gaddis 1,689]

Heh, talking about carrying seabags around, didja ever see some of those rear echelon Air Force maintenance monkeys and some of the spare tires they carry around on them on a daily basis.

 

Can you guys spell the word "Hoodia?"

[Rusty 0]

Slightly modified Navy version

Missing points mean I agree with them.

 

1. Bring a gun. Bring a bunch of big guns. Bring a whole carrier air wing worth of over-caffinated half psycotic flyboys with guns.

 

6. If you can choose what to bring to a gun fight, shove a precision guided munition up their ass from 200 miles away.

 

7. In 50 years, a bunch of nuts will sit around a table talking about how you blasted the crap out of Yamamoto's Navy with your big 16"s.

 

8. If you are shooting, somebody two decks down is coordinating the second strike with another carrier group.

 

9. Accuracy is relative. "Within 50 feet" is close enough when you're talking 2000Lbs of high explosives.

 

10. Use a gun that some yard-ape jury-rigged 10 years ago. Somehow, despite common sense and the laws of physics, it will work.

 

11. Nobody will ever kill you with your own gun. The Marines and a Chief (who's probably scolded Jesus 2000 years ago for his haircut) with a spoon and a cup of coffee will protect the ship

 

12. Always cheat, always win, always shell the bejesus out of a target just outside of return fire range.

 

13. Have a plan

 

14. Have a backup plan because air-intel will tell you the bad guys are coming from the opposite direction.

 

15. Paint your ship grey. Nobody will be able to see it on that big blue ocean.

 

16. Cross the T, shell the bejesus out of your adversaries fleet.

 

18. Launch a Hawkeye and threat scan 360 degrees for 50 miles in all directions.

 

19. Keep your ECM trained on their fleet. Radar systems kill.

 

20. Sink their fleet from 200 miles away. Enjoy a latte and a duty free cigar.

 

22. Be polite, be professional, have enough armorment to level a continent.

 

24. Do not attend a gun fight with a gun, the caliber of which is less than 5 inches.

 

Yeah, I'm a Navy brat

[joelrod47 373]

+1 on all of that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

.........jus' cause you don't see sailors carryin' 'em around, don't mean they ain't got 'em......

I especially like #20 and #22...........reminds me of the ol' days...........

 

Hey, I got OUT in 1967.........and, whew, the shit they had even back then......!

 

(USS Fulton, 10th Submarine Squadron, North Atlantic Fleet.........New London)

[BobAsh 582]

Nice work gentlemen.

 

USMC 0321 '77-'81.

[G O B 3,516]

In a gunfight--TORPEDO the bastards before they even know you're there. BTW bubbleheads a'int known for our spelling!

 

USS SeaLeapord SS483

[joelrod47 373]

heh, heh, heh....................

 

.............far ago and long away........................... heh, heh, heh...............

 

Good to know that we all made it to this point, huh? Hell.......a beer to US !!!

[Wakal 10]

The Differential Theory of US Armed Forces (Snake Model) upon encountering a snake in the Area of Operations (AO)

 

1. Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.

 

2. Airborne: Lands on and kills the snake.

 

3. Armor: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes.

 

4. Aviation: Has Global Positioning Satellite coordinates to snake. Can't find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure.

 

5. Ranger: Plays with snake, then eats it.

 

6. Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i.e., cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.

 

7. Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all State Department directives and Theater Commander Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes. Files enormous travel settlement upon return.

 

8. Combat Engineer: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using countermobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don't understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops.

 

9. Navy SEAL: Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites SEAL and retreats to safety. Hollywood makes fantasy film in which SEALS kill Muslim extremist snakes.

 

10. Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Senate Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means of anti-snake force projection.

 

11. Marine: Kills snake by accident while looking for souvenirs. Local civilians demand removal of all US forces from Area of Operations.

 

12. Marine Recon: Follows snake, gets lost.

 

13. Combat Controllers: Guides snake elsewhere.

 

14. Para-Rescue Jumper: Wounds snake in initial encounter, then works feverishly to save snake's life.

 

15. Quartermaster: (NOTICE: Your anti-snake equipment is on backorder.)

 

16. C-17 Transport pilot: Receives call for anti-snake equipment, delivers two weeks after due date.

 

17. F-15 pilot: Mis-identifies snake as enemy Mil-24 Hind helicopter and engages with missiles. Crew chief paints snake kill on aircraft.

 

18. F-16 pilot: Finds snake, drops two CBU-87 cluster bombs, and misses snake target, but get direct hit on Embassy 100 KM East of snake due to weather (Too Hot also Too Cold, Was Clear but too overcast, Too dry with Rain, Unlimited ceiling with low cloud cover etc.) Claims that purchasing multi-million dollar, high-tech snake-killing device will enable it in the future to kill all snakes and achieve a revolution in military affairs.

 

19. AH-64 Apache pilot: Unable to locate snake, snakes don't show well on infra-red. Infrared only operable in desert AO's without power lines or SAM's.

 

20. UH-60 Blackhawk pilot: Finds snake on fourth pass after snake builds bonfire, pops smoke, lays out VS 17 to mark Landing Zone. Rotor wash blows snake into fire.

 

21. B-52 pilot: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake, kills snake and every other living thing within two miles of target.

 

22. MinuteMan Missile crew: Lays in target coordinates to snake in 20seconds, but can't receive authorization from National Command Authority to use nuclear weapons.

 

23. Intelligence officer: Snake? What snake? Only four of 35 indicators of snake activity are currently active. We assess the potential for snake activity as LOW.

 

24. Judge Advocate General (JAG): Snake declines to bite, citing grounds of professional courtesy.

 

25. Signal: Tries to communicate with snake...fail repeated attempts. Complains that the snake did not have the correct fill or did not know how to work equipment a child could operate. Signal Officer informs the commander that he could easily communicate with the snake using just his voice. Commander insists that he NEEDS to video-conference with the snake, with real-time streaming positional and logistical data on the snake displayed on video screens to either side. Gives Signal Corps $5 Billion to make this happen. SigO abuses the 2 smart people in the corps to make it happen, while everybody else stands around, bitches, and takes credit. In the end, General Dynamics and several sub-contractors make a few billion dollars, the 2 smart people get out and go to work for them, and the commander gets what he asked for only in fiber-optic based simulations. The snake is forgotten.

[Echo_Four 0]

The first time I saw this list there were only 22 items on it. Glad to see people are still at work making it longer and better. Although, the last one can't be true-- since the Marines are still issues the M9. But, I know that I have made the change to a larger caliber myself, and I am sure many other former Marines have as well.