Sad news

[Saigaczech 9]

I learned today a friend and former student of mine died of a self inflicted gunshot wound three weeks ago. I had not seen her for almost a month a the range and called to see if she was alright. Her ex-husband answered and informed me that she took her life in mid October. Very sobering news.

 

She asked me to teach her how to shoot at the beginning of summer. I went and taught her all the proper ways to handle firearms and how to be safe around them. At the range she excelled. Her 7 yard off-hand shooting was never larger then the black on a T-2 type target. I let her try all my guns and she finally settled on a Beretta 8000 Cougar 9mm and bought the Stoeger model that is being sold now at a store I recommended.

 

She was very proud of how well she shot. I never knew what she was planning nor did her closest friends and relatives. She was always upbeat and smiling, a ray of sunshine in a dark and gloomy world. In the end I guess the recent worldly upheavals were too much for her. She was suffering from a chronic debilitating and fatal illness but never showed it.

 

I will always be second guessing myself on my decision to teach her the use of firearms. I tried to share my knowledge and passion in a constructive way, alas it was not to be. My tears fall silently for my friend and her family. She loved her children and pets and they will miss her. I lost a part of me in this I will probably never regain.

 

Please think of her.... I know I will.

[Bushido 2]

A tragic loss.

 

I will pray for her and for you.

 

BB

[22_Shooter 1,560]

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. Prayer up for you, her family and her.

 

I will always be second guessing myself on my decision to teach her the use of firearms. I tried to share my knowledge and passion in a constructive way, alas it was not to be.

 

Don't second guess yourself for one second. From what you said, you made her happy in teaching her how to shoot. As sad as it sounds, someone who is depressed and wants to end their life, will do it in one manner or another. You said yourself, she showed no signs, so no one could have known.

 

I hope you can come to terms with this. If you let it, it will eat you alive. I can personally attest to this.

 

Remember how she lived her life, not how she ended it.

[Elkhound 91]

You taught her a valuable skill, she elected to misuse the skill and breach your trust. I think of it as if you were a drivers' education instructor who specializes in defensive driving skills. Is that person responsible when a new driver has a single car accident with the intent to kill herself? No.

 

I understand, to some extent, how you feel. When I first became a Judge I ruled against a man. Two weeks later he killed himself. I did feel bad, but I made the best ruling I could at the time with the information I had. I suspect you did the same. You saw a bubbly, happy person who asked for your help to learn defensive skills and an exciting new hobby. How she chose to misuse those skills was her problem, not yours.

 

So, you have every right to feel bad, but not guilty.

 

Hang in there!

 

 

WJ

[G O B 3,516]

None of us will ever know the demons that others live with. She chose a path that we do not understand, but SHE CHOSE that path. Our lives are uniquely our own, and to second guess anothers choice to end that life will just cause you to loose the joy of that person having lived. Her life. Her choice, you cannot take blame, remorse or even credit fot it. Mourn her passing, celebrate her life, and live your own with a renewed appreciation of just how fragile and precious life is. We all live on through the memories we leave behind in others. Make shure to keep the good ones formost and let the bad ones fade away.

[IndyArms 10,186]

My condolences on your loss of a friend...

 

I want to make a comment that may seem a touch off... but in MY mind I can understand it...

You said she was suffering from a "chronic debilitating and fatal illness, yet she didnt show it... "

 

Well, not yet...

 

Perhaps she felt that in her mind, it was a more honorable way to go... instead of agonizing months of crippling pain and suffering, and putting her family and friends through her pain and suffering as well, she chose to leave before those times of hardship and sadness were upon them.

 

I am NOT trying to say I think she did the right thing, but I am only offering up a potential reason for her decision, because I think I too might do the same thing if I knew there was no hope of surviving the illness, and my choice was suffering and a painful death on the terms of the illness or a quick, painless death on my terms. Much in the way feudal Japanese samurai would take their lives to preserve their honor, perhaps she too felt it was better to set herself free before she could no longer live her life how she felt she needed to live it.

 

Celebrate her life... and your memories of her.

 

Do not dwell on the way it has passed.

 

 

[kresk 10,063]

People with suicidal depression have as strong a desire to die as much as non-depressed people do to live. Be wary of people who are significantly depressed and then suddenly cheerful again, as it may signal that they have resolved the mental dilemma of the choice to commit self-harm and have opted for the tragic way out. Don't beat yourself up about guilt; enjoy the good memories of the past.

[Paulry 50]

I'm sorry for your loss and pray for the sorry soul that had no other choice than to end a life and inflict more pain and suffering. We always have more than one choice and at times make the wrong one.

 

Many travel through the "heart of darkness", some never return. I can relate as the river is long and the current strong!

 

Please accept my condolences.

 

Frosty,

[Koliadko 207]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my brother 4 years ago in the same manner. It's difficult to lose someone suddenly but even more so when it's at their own hand. Just don't blame yourself. Her death had nothing to do with what you were doing for her.

[SuAside 2]

I will always be second guessing myself on my decision to teach her the use of firearms. I tried to share my knowledge and passion in a constructive way, alas it was not to be.

weapons and knowing how to use them really have nothing to do with this.

a person made a choice to end her life and the tool with which to carry that will out really has little to do with it. you really shouldn't second guess yourself.

 

 

my sympathies go out to you and her family.

[gunman1 1,753]

So sorry for your loss, not much I know of that will ease your pain but I'll offer you this. I've learned that I am not the arbiter of another's life, that I am to do acts of selflessness, that when someone reaches out I should be there, to do the next thing in front of me and leave the results up to God, however it turns out, that's his will for me. My life does not belong to me; it belongs to those who love me. I take peace in knowing that I am not powerful enough to control the destiny of others. I take peace in knowing that there is a power greater than myself which gave me self-will, it is up to me to use that will correctly.

 

My sincere condolences,

 

Dean

[Paladin 37]

I'm sorry for your, and her families loss.

[Saigaczech 9]

Thanks everyone.

[kd930 0]

I am NOT trying to say I think she did the right thing, but I am only offering up a potential reason for her decision, because I think I too might do the same thing if I knew there was no hope of surviving the illness, and my choice was suffering and a painful death on the terms of the illness or a quick, painless death on my terms. Much in the way feudal Japanese samurai would take their lives to preserve their honor, perhaps she too felt it was better to set herself free before she could no longer live her life how she felt she needed to live it. sad dp