Alright, all you married guys out there i need a hand

[Vultite 57]

I appreciate all the advise guys, and to answer your questions SOPMOD, lol, i'm not rushing into it for a quickie in the sheets, we already been down that road and we have been friends for a couple of years before we started dating and we been together for nearly 2 years now, my plan is to start saving i suppose and either have a descent down payment or have enough for the full purchase price. We have never had a fight, but we do have a occaisonal disagreement, i know how to handle myself pretty well with women b/c of all the mistakes i've made with the last engagement/near marriage (4 years), i'm sure she'll say yes but i'm pondering if i could go another route with this? Maybe instead of a ring all together just save it all for a down payment for a home? i dunno, i'd have to discuss this with her but i'd really like to keep it a surprise. But for a ring, so far i know it better be princess cut, and it better be a platinum band that isn't "cookie cutter crap" so i guess i got time for a search, hopefully i can do this without jumping over the counter with pushy sales women at the jewelry stores, but i will look into places like blue nile and ect. Once again thanks for the ideas

Edited September 9, 2008 by Vultite

[getitat 609]

Great idea on the custom setting Guido!

 

 

Thanks, Will.

 

guido2

[6500rpm 670]

I was fortunate enough that my dad had a long time friend who owned Lordo's Diamonds. I let my wife pick the setting she liked, then I went through the bags of stones until we had the size and quality that made it Bling . A good Jeweler can always adjust the setting to mount the stones you choose, and as said before, buy quality, buy once. Well sometimes twice as my then young bride was digging in the yard with her rings on, and after much searching and a few gallons of round up the center stone was never found -thank god for home owners insurance .

You can't buy love, but you can sure make um happy when they get a wedding set they're proud of. My wife of 19 years isn't much for jewelery, but she sure loves that ring even after all these years and she knows I went the extra mile to get the one she liked back in the early days when I didn't have a lot to start with. Just make sure you pick the bride as carefully as the ring and always remember , you get out of it, what you put in to it...........best advice I have for a good marriage.

 

In short-Diamond broker/jeweler. Connection if possible. (also never hurts if they're old Italian connections )

[Vultite 57]

I have a connection but its half way around the world, so spending 1800-2000 bucks for a plane ticket would defeat the savings, but i'll attempt my best with what i got here....

[BattleRifleG3 16]

She probably wants some say in what it is, no matter how much of a surprise it ends up being. So next time you're in the mall together go by a store and let her give you some hints. If she has a really wide range of what she might want in mind, maybe a zirconia may be ok, if she's the functional type, but otherwise it's better to go small and get the real thing than get a huge artificial rock.

 

We went for something that had a good bit of ring to it, not just a rock on stilts with a tiny strip holding it all together. After she got it, all her subsequently engaged friends wished they had it. It's a three-stone ring that's both real and functional, and offers 180 degree support for the stones. Not the hugest rocks, but we were going quality over quantity.

 

That being said, a real diamond is definitely good enough. Don't let the metrosexual jewelers talk you into a Leo or anything crazy like that. And the 2 months pay thing is exaggerated. Hers was at the top of our price range and it was one month's net pay. Of course if you can't buy most rings in the store for two month's pay, you probably can't afford to get married.

[RangerM9 1]

1911

 

Is that a Thomas Kincade in the background? Not actually a fan but my wife likes his work

[RangerM9 1]

As for the rings....

 

Don't shop on-line! you have to see the stone you are getting. Do not be affraid of inclusions, some are terrible and should be avoided, but some are not really visible form the top where you are going to be looking 99.5% of the time. A good cut can make the inclusion almost vanish. I got my wife a 1.2K round solitare G color I2 and you cannot see the inclusion wihtout a loop (or unless you look form the bottom. It pops real nice

 

White gold band with 12 more stones totalling .5K

 

if you can swing it get platinum....white gold is nice but needs periodic dipping in a Rhodium bath to keep it looking white rather that somewhat yellow......unless of course you want yellow gold....which i hate

 

avoid mall stores.....they suck.

 

keep in mind, diamond are not rare, they are simply controlled. Negotiate your ass off.....talk em down until they just want you out of the store!

 

then good luck hiding the thing until the day you want to pop the question......not as easy as you would think!

[jrance@iacwds.com 716]

1911

 

Is that a Thomas Kincade in the background? Not actually a fan but my wife likes his work

Yep, it is a T. Kinkade and my bride thinks this is her house to decorate.

[U.S. Pratorean 1,234]

Ok this is not where I bought my woman's ring from, but they do have pictures of it.

 

Le Vian Pink Saphire & Diamonds.

 

Luckily for me she's a rockhound too. She knows diamonds are not rare and that the supply & price are controlled. Plus she likes colored stones far more anyway.

Gota love a woman who don't buy into fertilizer that De Beers is spreading.

This is a little known FACT and you should explore this before you dump big $$$$$. Before WWII almost NOBODY had or bought engagement rings, we are talking 99.999% of the population. When all the GI's returned home all wanting to get married DeBeers jumped on the most incredible marketing myth/ false tradition ever devised. That being: diamonds are rare and worth the expense. This is pure bunk. In addition, they have a monopoly and release only enough diamonds onto the market to simulate their rarity further increasing the price and many/most are mined at the hardships of others. It is a racket and IMHO a ripoff. My wife does not have one and didn't cop a 'tude when she didn't get one. She does have diamond earrings and such but they are modest. She just does not think that way and for that I an thankful. We wear simple pewter bands inscribed with the "Song of Solomon" in yiddish. She is a surgical nurse so she really cannot wear something like that anyway. This should not be veiwed as your commitment or love for anyone. Personally, I wouldn't want someone that shallow. Not extrapolating this to any of you all mind you, but it is YOUR money to do as with you please and your choice. The concept of being cheap does not fly with me either. Why at the beginning of a life long marriage should only you prove yourself by spending cash on something you probably cannot afford while the money could go to something worthwhile like a downpayment on a home, SEP contribution or a mutual fund investment that will really pay off later? As some one mentioned, it is a gift and once given you no longer control it. I have seen women pawn really expensive rings for little to nothing that some guy busted his rear to pay for but since they are no longer together ,well.... you know. Your Grandma's or a handed down ring is a good idea but I have met women that don't want somebody else's or how about the one's that want to have or see the box the ring came in? Make a real investment and good luck and congratulations!

[MD_Willington 11]

I gave my wife my mothers engagement ring, the wedding band and the engagement ring were modified by a Vietnamese goldsmith back home, the engagement ring and the wedding band lock together.

[NataSS Inc 0]

Since I have already been married once I learned the hard way about buying a monster ring that put me in the hole for years of payments. I promised myself that IF I ever got married again, the woman would get a ring out of a GUMBALL machine and if she really loved me that would be all that she needed.

 

However my current girlfriend and I are starting to kick the idea around on the ground. And I told her I would not buy a monster ring and she would get one from a gumball machine..........she laughed, then I said I was serious. After a bit of talking SHE actually came up wih the idea of a "man made diamond". You can not tell the difference between the two with the naked eye. It takes a trained person to see it is man made. the killer thing is that you can get a whale of a stone for next to nothing. 2ct with almost perfect clarity and bordering on flawless for about 1500.00 or less. Her friends will thing you robbed a bank for her and be the jealous little bitches that they are and you will both be laughing when you can still afford to purchase a "his and hers" Saiga set!

[Arcadus 0]

Avoid the chain jewelers in the mall like the plague. All you will find are overpriced low quality stones. I would also be concerned over sight unseen stones. My suggestion would be:

 

1. Decide your budget

2. Don't presume to know her taste. It's her finger let her decide, within your budget of course.

3. Shop around a little locally for style and cut (avoid the brilliant aka round cut) I can vouch for emerald cut.

4. Make a trip to New York and visit the diamond district. You will get a much better diamond at a MUCH better price and have 100X the selection. You'll also have a nice trip out of it and something to remember. Also, don't expect a gushing sales person to fall all over there. When my wife and did this there were actually bouncer types outside the stores. They only wanted serious shoppers. When all was said and done I got 3x the diamond I could have gotten locally for the same price.

 

 

Arc

[152dbs 0]

Buy new and don't scrimp.... unless it is a "Family hand me down" that means something.....

IMO pawn shop rings carry a stigma of a bad relationship...... not that I'm superstitious or anything....

Just that new says you're worth it vs. look at the killer deal I got on this used ring...........

 

 

no bad mojo on mine...never got to ask my ex...my current wants a square one...and my luck would have it that this one is round... i can cut u a pretty decent deal and its certified.

[Vultite 57]

yea, she's set on a princess cut as well, guess i have a lot of shopping to do and see with what i can come up with, crappy thing for me is that she likes guns AND diamonds and diamond is also her birthstone I doubt she'll expect a monster ring but i'm gonna go after whatever i can afford, and if she doesn't like it, then well, guess it wasn't meant to be, and i'll buy another toy that goes bang

[Modiano 5]

i'm not married, so you can totally disregard anything i say, but i would:

 

1. look into a prenup for both of your safety. marriage is a contact, and a prenup makes it alot easier if it unfortunately doesn't work out. can save both of you enormous time/legal fees

 

2. i don't know much about diamonds, but first look at jewelers that say they're diamonds will appraise for more than the cost. then look at other jewelers.

 

3. if the lady has a soft spot, you could make sure you get her a diamond that wasn't produced by slave labor...some chicks really dig that, others would rather you spend the same $$$ on a bigger slave rock