Cancer?

[Bounce12 407]

 

As an aside, have any of you seen "Enemy at the Gates?" It's a movie set in WWII when Hitler was invading Stalingrad. In the movie, the Russians that survived any given day partied their asses off that night. They were partying, drinking, laughing and singing and dancing and shit. That's almost where I am - mentally. Shit, I survived another day! Yipeeee. Fuck an A, this is great! That's one way to keep a healthy state of mind. When you are pretty well assured of croaking, you get in a good mood when you make it to the end of any given day.

 

 

We celebrate every day you guys are here too...

Great film.... all about Tula's 91/30 sniper rifles!!!!

 

Even though my suffering has been second hand, I have developed a strong hatred for cancer as of late...

And not to bitch or sound like a worried mom....

If any of y'all are smokers or doing stupid stuff increase your odds of bringing this evil into your life... I urge you to stop!!!

I quit after 18 years or so of smoking... it ain't easy...but you can do it...

Not trying to be PC..... just trying to have it where I got more people around to go shootin' with.... FWIW.....

 

 

No shit. That's one thing I tried to relay to Sly. Any smoker who spends a day in my shoes will probably stop on the spot.

 

Cancer will bring a painful hell into your life (not to mention DEATH) that is far and away worse than any "withdrawal."

 

There are some people who smoke themselves into the grave, however. I know of one woman who had breast cancer that spread. She had it everywhere and she was smoking as they wheeled her into the hospital where she died about an hour later. That's some pretty sick shit.

[dj_tj_90 60]

Hi, fellas. I haven't been on in a while, so I thought I would give an update on my condition.

 

I still have cancer, it's like that smell old people have: once it's there it's harder than hell to get rid of. I after an 8-day delay, I have finally started my chemo treatments. The good ol' doc forgot to send in my orders on Tuesday so they would know what to do with me Wednesday. So, I had to call the Cancer Center this morning at 8 and try to get in asap. Unfortunately, that wasn't until 4:30. Because they waited so long from the time they put the I.V. into my port (2:30), to the time the doctor finally gave them my orders to start the Saline drip before the chemo (8:30), the blood in my port had coagulated. That meant the port was "almost" useless. They then had to VERY slowly inject something into the port to thin my blood until it flowed out of the port again.

 

Funny Huh?

 

Then they had a problem with the I.V. cloting or something so it still wouldn't go in! After about an hour of messing with a great big needle that has to stay in my chest for all of the next 4 days, they finally got it to work. Turns out, after they un-clotted my blood, the needle wasn't in far enough any more so it was getting plugged by the silicone in the Medport.

 

 

Finally, I have just been started on my first dose of chemo, I am being started on VP-16 or Etoposide. Lets see how it goes.

[Cobra 76 two 2,677]

Damn dude sorry to hear you are having such luck at the hospital. You would think they would have their shit together in a place like that ya know? When I was in last week getting another CT scan with the contrast, the nurse finally gave up after poking two different holes in my arm searching for a friggin vein. I've got them popping out all over the damn place so it shouldn't be so hard it seems. She said it wasn't hard to find one, she was just not able to feed it in there once she started getting blood. She said there too many valves in there or something....finally a male nurse came in there and got it right the first time in my other arm.

I was about to ask if I could just do it myself...lol.

 

Best of luck to ya bro!

[dj_tj_90 60]

It took me about 3 - 3 1/2 hours to make that last post. I have had to have my I.V. fixed every 10-15 minutes since they put it in. They started at 9, it's midnight now. The chemicles are being stopped for some reason, it keeps getting pluged or something. I just had to stop writing this post again, they decided to pull the needle out of me, again, and put it in the other side. This shit hurts like a f*#king s*mbit#h. And it's still stopping every 10 minutes. Oh, and now its got bubbles f*#ing with it.

 

It's gonna be a long night.

[Bounce12 407]

It took me about 3 - 3 1/2 hours to make that last post. I have had to have my I.V. fixed every 10-15 minutes since they put it in. They started at 9, it's midnight now. The chemicles are being stopped for some reason, it keeps getting pluged or something. I just had to stop writing this post again, they decided to pull the needle out of me, again, and put it in the other side. This shit hurts like a f*#king s*mbit#h. And it's still stopping every 10 minutes. Oh, and now its got bubbles f*#ing with it.

 

It's gonna be a long night.

 

 

As if cancer isn't bad enough all by itself.

 

I didn't do the "port" thing. I just told them to stick me. It doesn't sound like either way is working for you. They've had to use both my arms before. I've walked out of the hospital with two holes in each arm, but that was the most trouble I had (four total sticks).

 

This shit ain't for pussies dude, that's for sure. SOLDIER ON! That's what it takes. If you're not already, you'll be one tough mother fucker by the time this is over. You're gonna be the baddest bitch on the block by the time you get done with this.

 

From someone who has been there (yesterday! - LOL) I'm pulling for you.

[Bounce12 407]

Here's the deal TJ...

 

Right now I know it seems that you are under assault. You have a deadly disease invading your body that you didn't do SHIT to cause. It just happened. You are being given one bit of HORRIFIC news after another on a daily basis. You are being stuck with fucking needles and being pumped with poison and it all hurts and you're in strange surroundings and it's late and you're tired and you don't want it and (now screaming) IT ALL FUCKING SUCKS AND YOU DIDN'T DO A FUCKING THING TO DESERVE ANY OF IT!!!!!

 

Believe me, I get it. There's one thing I want you to understand... it may seem like you're weak right now and being beaten up left and right, but you're not. You are WAY STRONGER than any of this. You are WAY TOUGHER than any of this. YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS and you'll become fucking Conan (the Barbarian) for having gone through it.

 

It's time to reach down inside and find the strength within you. This is no bullshit. The time for games is over. You have the strength within you. The strength is there. You can find it and use it. None of this is fair, but you WILL TRIUMPH over all this bullshit and you will emerge with an inner strength that few men know. Once you get through this, all the other bullshit in life will seem like a day at the beach.

[Bounce12 407]

This is why you have to be wary of clinical trials.

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/23/business/23carle.html?emc=eta1

[David Mark 2,452]

Damn it sucks when bad things happen to good people.

I am keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Bounce12 407]

TJ, I am just rambling on hoping that something I say might help you. If it's not helping, just move on - no big deal.

 

However, after crying myself to sleep more than once or twice in the beginning of all this over all the pain and unfairness and torture I was going through, I finally decided that the cancer and the treatment (which fucking kills you to some extent) were NOT going to beat me.

 

I snapped back to a point in my life where I was being buried alive in a training exercise (literally). I was resisting an interrogation in a simulated POW camp and being punished for it. They had decided to bury me alive. I basically said to myself, "You mother fuckers can kill me, but YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME. I will not give you that power."

 

I fell back on a lesson that I had learned in the USAF as a fighter pilot. You can be killed, but you WILL NEVER BE DEFEATED unless you give them (the cancer in this case) the power to do so. That decision is in YOUR HANDS, not theirs. Defeat is a decision that you make, not one THEY MAKE.

 

Does that make sense? The cancer may very well kill me, but it will NOT defeat me. I may walk into the valley of the shadow of death, but if I do it will be with my head held high and atop a straight back bone because I HAVE DECIDED THAT'S THE WAY IT'S GONNA BE.

 

Once I did that I started laughing at it. I didn't have to fake the laughter either. I was able to make jokes about it. It can cause me pain and misery, but it CANNOT DEFEAT ME. Cancer cannot defeat you, either, unless you surrender to it.

 

Fuck the cancer. Fuck the pain. Fuck the misery. Fuck the fear. All that shit can kiss your ass. It's nowhere near as strong as you are. You just have to realize it and use it to your advantage.

 

I hope you can find that kind of strength within yourself. It's there, I promise. It may take a while to find it, but it's there.

[Bounce12 407]

And another thing TJ (and Shannon), you need to start taking a shit-load of B vitamins.

 

I'd start taking the best multi-vitamin you can find (with each meal), but specifically you need to load up on B-6 and B-12.

 

Chemo causes a numbing in your toes and other extremities. The B vitamin really helps with that.

 

I started to get numbing in my big toes, but it went away when I started doing a lot of B vitamins. They asked me to be a part of a clinical trial where they gave half the patients a placebo and the other half some serious B vitamins. I refused the trial, but started taking strong B vitamins with each meal.

 

As far as exercise goes, I can tell you that too much is a bad thing. I was riding my bicycle up to three hours a day and THAT was too much. If you go out and do 45 minutes of light to moderate exercise (walking and light jogging) it will do you good. I was doing three hours of moderate to aggressive bust-ass riding. It was too much and actually hurting my recovery in between chemos.

 

OK, this is enough of my worldly wisdom for one morning.

 

Bounceman out.

Edited October 23, 2009 by Bounce12

[Bayoupiper 738]

Well done Bounce.

 

We're thinking about you 'teen!

[Bounce12 407]

Well done Bounce.

 

We're thinking about you 'teen!

 

 

Thanks Will. TJ, I don't know whether you've seen the movie "Meet Joe Black," but the way Anthony Hopkins went out at the end of the movie is EXACTLY how I plan to walk away from this life. He was at the end of his life, but he was ANYTHING but defeated.

[dj_tj_90 60]

Bounce, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I have been having a lot of thoughts I would be much better off without and you and Juggs have been helping me through every bit of this. I truly know that I will never be worried about being in this fight alone. I have been out cold all day today, the cancer kicked my ass in round one but now it's time for round 2 and I'm coming out swingin with God's gloves on. Your above posts really help. Especially the one about not being defeated. I will try to keep in touch. I have been haaving trouble with my port still, they think it's because it's still kinda new and is probably a litte swollen still. I figure it's gonna happen every time I have to get chemo, but maybe they're right.

 

I thought everybody might wanna know what kind of chemicals I'm being pumped with so here is my list:

 

#1 VP-16 (Etoposide): Given all three days, makes me feel VERY sick. It is a "chemo" drug. Each of my doses of this are to last 30 hours. with 16 hrs. in between.

 

#2 Vincristine (Oncovin): Only given during day one. More exteame nausea feeling. Mixed with #1 for 30 hrs.

 

#3 Ifex: Screws up my liver and kidneys (haven't had it yet).

 

There are two others but I can't find them right now and Lock N Load with R. Lee Ermey is on so I will post them later when I find the papers.

[unclejake 428]

Y'all, I don't even know where to start! The only personal experience I've had with cancer was a benign (THANK GOD!!)growth in my ear. I will never forget going to an ENT to get it checked out and when the Dr. came in and looked at it, he ever so nonchalantly said "it's just a cancerous growth, nothing to worry about." When you hear the C word come out of the Dr's mouth, the bottom drops out of your world! And for him to say No big deal..I wanted to punch him!! Well, thankfully that's all it was, a benign tumor. He just cut it off, end of story. Well, they did send it off to check it out. I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO HEAR MALIGNANT! And to go through what y'all are going through on a daily basis...all I got to say is that y'all are my HEROS!!!!! I know that I speak for the rest of the board when I say that I wish that I could take away even a little bit of the nausea, the pain, the anxiety, the sleepless nights, the worry...but I can't, but what I can do is keep you in my prayers on a daily basis, and to keep sending possitive vibes your way.

Keep your heads up and remember that we are here for you if ever there is something that we can do!

Prayerfully and thoughtfully, Uncle Jake

[Bounce12 407]

Y'all, I don't even know where to start! The only personal experience I've had with cancer was a benign (THANK GOD!!)growth in my ear. I will never forget going to an ENT to get it checked out and when the Dr. came in and looked at it, he ever so nonchalantly said "it's just a cancerous growth, nothing to worry about." When you hear the C word come out of the Dr's mouth, the bottom drops out of your world! And for him to say No big deal..I wanted to punch him!! Well, thankfully that's all it was, a benign tumor. He just cut it off, end of story. Well, they did send it off to check it out. I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO HEAR MALIGNANT! And to go through what y'all are going through on a daily basis...all I got to say is that y'all are my HEROS!!!!! I know that I speak for the rest of the board when I say that I wish that I could take away even a little bit of the nausea, the pain, the anxiety, the sleepless nights, the worry...but I can't, but what I can do is keep you in my prayers on a daily basis, and to keep sending possitive vibes your way.

Keep your heads up and remember that we are here for you if ever there is something that we can do!

Prayerfully and thoughtfully, Uncle Jake

 

 

Thanks Jake!

[dj_tj_90 60]

Bounce, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. I have been having a lot of thoughts I would be much better off without and you and Juggs have been helping me through every bit of this. I truly know that I will never be worried about being in this fight alone. I have been out cold all day today, the cancer kicked my ass in round one but now it's time for round 2 and I'm coming out swingin with God's gloves on. Your above posts really help. Especially the one about not being defeated. I will try to keep in touch. I have been haaving trouble with my port still, they think it's because it's still kinda new and is probably a litte swollen still. I figure it's gonna happen every time I have to get chemo, but maybe they're right.

 

I thought everybody might wanna know what kind of chemicals I'm being pumped with so here is my list:

 

#1 VP-16 (Etoposide): Given all three days, makes me feel VERY sick. It is a "chemo" drug. Each of my doses of this are to last 30 hours. with 16 hrs. in between.

 

#2 Vincristine (Oncovin): Only given during day one. More exteame nausea feeling. Mixed with #1 for 30 hrs.

 

#3 Ifex: Screws up my liver and kidneys (haven't had it yet).

 

There are two others but I can't find them right now and Lock N Load with R. Lee Ermey is on so I will post them later when I find the papers.

 

Found em.

 

Both drug #'s 2 and 3. Are "chemo" drugs.

 

#4 Mesna: Coats my Kidney's so #3 doesn't destroy it, instead, it just eays through the coating. Again, more nausea.

 

#5 Adriamycin (Doxorubicin): Personal Favorite. Given days two and three only. More nausea follows. Changes in skin color may occur. Also, it commonly changes the color of urine to pink, red, and/or orange... Chemo, Piss the rainbow. Is a "chemo" drug.

 

#6 Decadron (Dexamethasone): Like the rest, except Mesna, this is also a "chemo" drug. I say it like that because there are so many different drugs that can be used in Chemotherapy, if someone says they are having chemo it might not be anything like what someone else is having. These 5 drugs are all a posibility for somebody going through chemo. This drug will NOT make me nauseated, but it might change my eye color. It may also lead to the development of Cataracts or eye infections. I'm so lucky .

 

Well, that's what I'm on. sorry for making suck a long post, just got a lot to say tonight. Cobra, cool to hear things are going well with you. Bounce, your almost done man. Soon you can say you HAD to go through chemo. Then soon we can all say we HAD to beat cancer. Best of luck guys, your in my prayers.

[BronCobraJet 80]

I swear to God, guys, this is the toughest stuff I've ever read! From now on, I'm going to do my danmdest, to not bitch and whine and complain about any little inconsequential bullshit that I think that I might have to endure or put up with. This thread really puts everything into perspective. To each and everyone of you, please know that there are people out here all over the U.S. pulling for you and praying for you. That is a very powerful force. Draw on it, and use it as often as needed and come back to the well to get replenished as needed. The prayers won't dry up. Hang tough. You aren't alone. I swear I really wasn't a prayer much before, but I'm pulling as hard as I can for you guys, and I humbly ask everyone else out there reading this to do the same. When I was a kid, my sister got into a very bad bike/car accident that made national news/prayer outlets, and she was on deaths bed, but came out of it. (One thing Oral Roberts did right). Whether you believe or not. Please just do it for our buddies here.

[Bounce12 407]

Thanks Bron.

 

SaigaTeen, dexamethasone is one hell of a steroid. It's not the same kind that athletes juice up with. It's mind altering. It REALLY drove me to anger for no reason.

 

So, just remember, if the sound of someone walking across the floor pisses you THE FUCK off, understand, it's the dex.

 

If I could simply hear someone breathing, I'd feel like shouting, "WHY DO I HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS SHIT??? SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!" That's not a joke, it's for real.

 

I cut way back on the dex as time went on. Seriously, it drove me bat shit and made me impossible to live with. You need to take yourself off the communications grid with your girlfriend while you're taking the dex - and for a couple of days afterward.

 

My right hand and my left arm still hurt like hell. One of my chemo drugs just irritated the shit out of my veins. They STILL hurt.

 

I'm not whining! Consider this a range report. lol

 

TJ, just understand, when you hurt like all hell, we're here with you. I never actually puked. I came close a few times, but I never blew chunks.

Edited October 25, 2009 by Bounce12

[Bounce12 407]

I swear to God, guys, this is the toughest stuff I've ever read!

 

 

And another thing Bron, I am absolutely shocked at how many people have cancer. The chemo chairs at the local hospital are always full. It's shocking.

 

We just found out that a former boy friend of my oldest daughter (a kid about Saigateen's age) has cancer, too. He's got a big-ass mass in his abdomen. He starts chemo on Tuesday.

 

I know a lot more people with cancer than I do with the pig-flu.

 

AND, here's the bad news for everyone out there.... If, and I do mean "IF"you live long enough, you too will probably get it in some way, shape, manner, or form.

 

Some forms of cancer (and there are hundreds of different kinds of cancer) are curable. I think prostate cancer is 100% curable at this point. However, other forms of cancer require treatment that is well within the parameters of what any rational person would call TORTURE. Chemo kills you, but you have the ability to regenerate just a little faster than the cancer does. So, they kill you off just slowly enough that you can recover and the cancer can't - and that doesn't even always hold true. Some chemo isn't always effective at killing cancer off. So, all the dying you do while on chemo is, in the end, all for naught. It can be a complete waste of time. The problem is you never know until AFTER you give it your best shot.

 

I think in my case, the docs just blasted it with everything they could (without killing me) and whatever happens, happens. They really aren't sure as to how effective it will be until they see whether I live or die.

 

It's no puss-game, that's for sure.

 

When they see what happens to me, they will toss me into the statistics and I'll be one more data point.

 

One thing is for sure, Saigateen has balls of brass. He may feel beaten up, poisoned and broken from time to time, but he's got balls of brass.

 

Hey, and another thing, Lance Armstrong came back and had a kid with his own post-cancer sperm. AND, my hair never totally fell out. So, all the doom and gloom they tell you about chemo isn't ALWAYS the case in the long term.

[Koliadko 207]

Shannon will be on Cisplatin. The main side effect is....nausea and vomiting. Shocker, right? Also, kidney toxicity, blood test abnormalities (low magnesium, calcium, and potassium), low white blood cells, and low red blood cells. Not as common are numbness and tingling in extremities, high frequency hearing loss, loss of appetite (his main loss of appetite will come from the radiation therapy), taste changes plus his little swimmers won't work as well but that's not a concern for us.

I can also tell you one of the main side effects of Fentanyl (his pain medication patch) is loss of memory!

 

Starting radiation tomorrow and chemo Wednesday. Wish us luck.

[jrance@iacwds.com 716]

ST, Bounce 12 & Shanon:

 

Know that we not only wish you the very best of luck but you remain in our prayers daily and knowing the Creator beats luck hands down. You all have an indomitable spirit that cannot be quenched. Death is one more doorway but you guys can just kick it shut. My life has become a little more busy of late but you three remain in my prayers along with Juggs ministry. Hang in there and be aware that the "roid rage" that Bounce talks about is very real, been there & done that. Laughter is truly the best medicine. Spit in the eye of that which you fear. Rest, as best you can with the torture you're going through, and know that this is just another test to make you one effective warrior for your Maker. Probably too much but know you are cared about and prayed for.

 

1911

[Cobra 76 two 2,677]

Well this was me about two hours ago, getting setup to be blasted with radiation for 15 minutes....

 

Racegal what the hell did I forget this time? ? I don't remember...

 

 

[Juggernaut 11,054]

Well this was me about two hours ago, getting setup to be blasted with radiation for 15 minutes....

 

Racegal what the hell did I forget this time? ? I don't remember...

 

 

Damn, Dude!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rT1DCun3U9M

[belt fed frog 56]

Saigateen ,

take the gloves off you ,Bounce and Shannon are in a bare knuckle fight for your lives, no matter what don`t give in or even an inch, as long as you KNOW you will win , You Will

steady unflinching resolve is so important to beating it down and out for good

 

i am pulling for all three of you guys

[unclejake 428]

Shannon will be on Cisplatin. The main side effect is....nausea and vomiting. Shocker, right? Also, kidney toxicity, blood test abnormalities (low magnesium, calcium, and potassium), low white blood cells, and low red blood cells. Not as common are numbness and tingling in extremities, high frequency hearing loss, loss of appetite (his main loss of appetite will come from the radiation therapy), taste changes plus his little swimmers won't work as well but that's not a concern for us.

I can also tell you one of the main side effects of Fentanyl (his pain medication patch) is loss of memory!

 

Starting radiation tomorrow and chemo Wednesday. Wish us luck.

Racegal, the memory part ain't that big of a side effect, at least for me. I've been on Fentanyl for a year and a half now (100 mcg), change then every two days, need to do it daily, but the Dr. is afraid it would OD me. I don't have any significant memory loss that I can tell. I asked my wife if she's noticed it and she said no. Course, that might be just me.I'm on it from. degenerative arthritis in every joint from a wreck back YEARS ago. If he's on it for awhile, he might go through withdrawal when the patch wears off, plus hypersensitivity to touch and pain. If there's anything else you want to know about the drug, PM me.

[Cobra 76 two 2,677]

Yeah that Fentanyl is some serious shit. They told me it was the strongest thing they had in the pharmacy when I was trying to get something that would finally knock out the pain from the tonsil surgery. I just wish I had gotten it about two weeks sooner. When I looked it up online I read it was 100 times stronger than morphine.

Dude I would hate to be getting nothing right now!

[Bounce12 407]

Saigateen ,

take the gloves off you ,Bounce and Shannon are in a bare knuckle fight for your lives, no matter what don`t give in or even an inch, as long as you KNOW you will win , You Will

steady unflinching resolve is so important to beating it down and out for good

 

i am pulling for all three of you guys

 

 

Thanks man!

 

Well this was me about two hours ago, getting setup to be blasted with radiation for 15 minutes....

 

Racegal what the hell did I forget this time? ? I don't remember...

 

 

Damn, Dude!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rT1DCun3U9M

 

 

What a great movie! LOL Excellent analogy Juggs.

[Bounce12 407]

Damn Cobra!

 

That's some serious shit. Is your doc an Iranian?

 

LOL

 

I can't figure out whether he's Poncho Villa, or Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

 

I can hear Racegal now, "Tell Bounce to STFU!"

 

LOL

Edited October 27, 2009 by Bounce12

[Bounce12 407]

ST, Bounce 12 & Shanon:

 

Know that we not only wish you the very best of luck but you remain in our prayers daily and knowing the Creator beats luck hands down. You all have an indomitable spirit that cannot be quenched. Death is one more doorway but you guys can just kick it shut. My life has become a little more busy of late but you three remain in my prayers along with Juggs ministry. Hang in there and be aware that the "roid rage" that Bounce talks about is very real, been there & done that. Laughter is truly the best medicine. Spit in the eye of that which you fear. Rest, as best you can with the torture you're going through, and know that this is just another test to make you one effective warrior for your Maker. Probably too much but know you are cared about and prayed for.

 

1911

 

 

Thanks 1911.

 

You da man.

 

About spitting in the eye of the enemy and making one a more effective warrior....

 

You couldn't have said it any better. Thanks. You nailed it.

[Bounce12 407]

I asked my doc about the radiation that I am going to receive.

 

I said, "I heard some rumors that the radiation you're going to give me can actually GIVE ME CANCER. Is that true?"

 

She said, "Yeah, it sure can."

 

Then I said, "But the radiation you're going to give me will also KILL the cancer I already have?"

 

She said, "Yeah, that's the point."

 

 

Then I said, "But the cancer you could to GIVE ME will kill me slower than the cancer I already have???"

 

She said, "Yeah, that about covers it."

 

LOL

 

I looked at my wife with a big smile and said, "My life is definitely not a game for wimps." lol