Cancer?

[Bounce12 407]

Cobra, they thought about doing the every three week thing with me, but decided on a smaller dose every two weeks instead. Old bastards like me can't take the toxicity of the doses they give on the every three week schedule.

 

My doc said that the survivability was about the same with the every two weeks schedule and it was a little less toxic so that's where I am.

 

The one TJ is going through is the most toxic.

 

I feel for him. Then again, he's the youngest and most able to deal with it, physically.

[Cobra 76 two 2,677]

Ahhh gotcha.....damn the more I learn about this shit the more I hate it.

[Bounce12 407]

Ahhh gotcha.....damn the more I learn about this shit the more I hate it.

 

 

I went in yesterday for a post-chemo MRI and CT.

 

I walked out with a disc of the MRI data. I've gotta say man, I still have a big ass lump in my leg. I drank all kinds of contrast fluids for the CT and then they injected me with some kind of iodine for the MRI. That shit makes cancer glow like a neon sign. Well, I'm one glowing mother fucker (at least the lump in my leg is).

 

I go in tomorrow for the doc visit to discuss the results and decide whether they want me to continue chemo or not.

 

I have YET to walk OUT of one of these doc meetings with good news. We'll see. It will be interesting - that's for sure.

[Juggernaut 11,054]

What about Surgery or radiation??

[Cobra 76 two 2,677]

Good luck today Bounce.

[Bayoupiper 738]

Hey Bounce!

 

 

Would a bunch of Saiga 12 toting friends sitting in the doctor's waiting room help?

[Bounce12 407]

What about Surgery or radiation??

 

 

They're planning on doing both.

 

Here is what I think my options are (and I'll find out tomorrow what they decide):

 

1) go for one more dose of chemo, then #2, or,

 

2) excise the lump (cut it out) and then do radiation every day (M-F) for seven weeks.

 

Basically, I do #2 anyway. The question is whether they want me to do one more chemo or not.

[Bounce12 407]

Hey Bounce!

 

 

Would a bunch of Saiga 12 toting friends sitting in the doctor's waiting room help?

 

 

NO, HELL NO man! Meet me at the range instead! I'll be there directly when they release me after the surgery!

 

LOL

 

Thanks for the thought. I appreciate it.

 

Good luck today Bounce.

 

 

Thanks Cobra. I meet with the docs tomorrow AM.

[Fatboy148 4]

Ahhh gotcha.....damn the more I learn about this shit the more I hate it.

 

 

Keep looking forward, there will come a day when you all can say, "I HAD Cancer".

Edited November 3, 2009 by Fatboy

[Bounce12 407]

OK, I'm back. I spent almost the whole day at the hospital and I have some news.

 

First, I am hereby DONE with chemo. For better or worse, it's over.

 

Second, I go in for surgery on Thursday. The surgeon told me to expect to stay until Saturday. Oh joy! I fucking hate hospitals.

 

Third, I had to sign a piece of paper giving ownership of my lump to the hospital once they remove it. I guess that officially makes me an organ donor. LOL

 

Fourth, I am getting wildly conflicting stories about my future from the surgeon and the chemo doc. The surgeon says that if this cancer comes back it will probably be within two years. If I can make it five years, then there is a 98% chance that I'm done with it forever.

 

The chemo doc says virtually the exact opposite. She says that it is not at all unusual to have this shit reappear in 10+ years and that I will NEVER be over it.

 

So, the bottom line is, I have no clue what my real prognosis is, but they're talking years, not "months," so I'll take that and run.

 

The CT I did on Sunday shows that my chest is still clear. So, the cancer didn't metastasize into my chest while I was on chemo. If it had done that, it would be "curtains" for me, but it didn't happen.

 

So, all in all, I broke even. I didn't really learn anything for sure except that I am done with chemo. I've been doing that shit since August, so believe me - I AM GLAD AS FUCK TO BE DONE WITH IT.

 

Cobra and TJ, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

 

Each day you have to go through this shit is one fewer out in front of you.

 

Keep on keeping on. IT WILL BE OVER AT SOME POINT and you can move on to the next stage.

Edited November 3, 2009 by Bounce12

[Bounce12 407]

Ahhh gotcha.....damn the more I learn about this shit the more I hate it.

 

 

Keep looking forward, there will come a day when you all can say, "I HAD Cancer".

 

 

Exactly right. Exactly right.

 

The world is FULL of cancer survivors.

[Bounce12 407]

And another thing...

 

When I said that I was "glowing," it turns out that what I was looking at was not GLOWING CANCER on the MRI.

 

When something shows up as "white" on the MRI, it is not necessarily cancer. I was wrong about that. The doc said yesterday that it's just fluid and that they won't really know whether it's living cancer or dead scar tissue until after they cut it out and test it in a lab.

 

So, if you guys ever get your hands on your MRI and see lots of white shit, IGNORE IT. I freaked myself out for nothing. Cancer is as much of a mind fuck as anything and I HAVE NEEDLESSLY FUCKED MY OWN MIND, REPEATEDLY.

 

This is just one more example of how EVERYTHING I thought I knew about cancer has proven to be wrong. Cancer is a mind fuck. Don't hurt yourself like I did by making assumptions based on crap you learned from other people or the internet. I lost a lot of sleep worrying about shit I was completely wrong about.

 

Don't draw conclusions that make you think you're fucked. I'm telling you, from what I saw yesterday, even the experts in the field can look at the same data and come away with OPPOSITE reactions. Even if they tell you your chances are 99 to 1 against, YOU HAVE JUST AS MUCH OF A CHANCE OF BEING THE 1 AS YOU DO ANY OF THE 99. AND, I'm telling you - SERIOUSLY - that because everyone is different, the docs' statistics DON'T MEAN SHIT when it comes to you.

 

Each and every day you endure is ONE FEWER days of pain and bullshit you have left in front of you. I know it doesn't seem like it when you're in the midst of all the chemo (medieval torture chamber) but you are making headway.

 

If I could go back and do it all over again, the first thing I'd tell myself is, "DON'T MIND FUCK YOURSELF BY MAKING ASSUMPTIONS!" AND, "Stay off the fucking internet where it comes to wikipedia and cancer subjects." That shit will fuck your brain and it doesn't mean a damn thing where YOU are concerned. I did myself more harm through reading cancer crap on the internet than I can tell you.

 

Much of the pain and distress I went through with all this was SELF INFLICTED.

[Bayoupiper 738]

Good luck tomorrow Bounce!

[Juggernaut 11,054]

Fervent prayers out for you bounce...

 

 

Quick update on TJ..... His white blood cell count was almost down to nothing.... Why...??

Someone "Forgot" to give him a shot after his chemo to bring it back up......

 

Doing better now.... he called this morning and said his hair started falling out last night... Said he looks like a squirrel with mange....

[Twinsen 86]

Good luck on the biopsy, pal.

[Bounce12 407]

Thanks to everyone for the prayers and well-wishes.

 

They're greatly appreciated.

 

As far as TJ goes, it will be a cold day in Hell before he lets them forget again.

 

Each and every day there will be another lesson learned.

 

As to the hair falling out.... Bruce Willis looks good in bald. Mr. Clean looks good in bald. Jean Luc Picard looks good in bald. Fuck hair! You don't need no stinkin' hair!

[Juggernaut 11,054]

I don't think he minds the idea of being bald.....it's the half way thing he don't like....

[Cobra 76 two 2,677]

It's great to see you in better spirits bro. I was about ready to start smacking you around some...lol. That's great news Bounce! You keep that attitude and stay the fuck off the webcancer sites. That's about what they are...their own form of cancer. Early on, I decided to just stop reading any of that shit. Everything I read looked bad and I always walked away from the puter depressed.

After talking to a few human beings who had whooped cancer, (some of them who have even posted in this thread and I thank them very much!)....even the same kind as mine, that made me change my attitude about it. Each person deals with things differently, and each person's body is completely different.

Cancer stats don't mean shit.

I do still have some bad days, yesterday was one in fact......but I get back on the horse the next day and ride that fucker again. You do the same thing Saigateen! YOU are the boss here.....not the cancer...remember that. I was tearing up this morning while driving along feeling sorry for myself, running a little late, on the long trip out there for radiation treatment. It had been another rough night with not much sleep, sick on my stomach with nothing left in there to get rid of. I was letting the bad thoughts in again....then when I came to my favorite part of the trip, the part that is the specific reason I chose this route I go every day....(I decided I would much rather drive down a relaxing set of country roads through two counties, to and from the hospital, and go across Lake Jordan, one of my old favorite haunts for boating, hiking, artifact hunting, fishing, etc...than mix it up with a bunch of pissed off people on the interstate, running 90 mph and switching lanes like it's a racetrack. It's an hour's drive either way so no thanks on the stress for me.)...anyway, I got to the long bridge over the lake with tears in my eyes, and I saw something that made me snap right out of it. It was a big Bald Eagle soaring around over the lake that he owns. I spotted that huge wingspan, that big beautiful white head and tail feathers, from at least a 1/8 mile away, crossing over the bridge straight out in front of me and Racegal. I pointed to it told her what it was. Aside from just a beautiful creature, it's our national emblem, chosen for that because of it's great strength, long life, and majestic looks. It symbolizes the very heart of strength and the willingness to survive. They were in fact removed a few years ago from the national list of endangered species.

Dude right then my eyes dried the fuck up and I was ok the rest of the day!

 

 

 

 

 

We even stopped on the way home and walked down to the lake from the parking area, and walked out onto the old roadbed that you can see when the water is low, running out to the island by the bridge. It used to be the only way across the river there before they blew up the bridge, built a longer, higher one, and flooded the lake. We'll ride by there from now on and remember that. One day we'll hopefully take the boat out there and look back on it as we cruise the lake, and think about back when I USED TO HAVE CANCER....

 

 

Two days to go here on my second week of 7....

 

Tomorrow's a special day too...

 

Yesterday they told me the chemo has caused my body's immune system to drop as much as my weight has. (I've lost about 25 lbs...down to 155) Because of that I found out that this crap I just discovered in the back of my throat is the beginning of a yeast infection. They wrote a prescription for this medicine I got for it on the way home, which ended up having a wonderful side effect that I really need right now... NAUSEA.... GREAT!

So anyway, since eating has been next to impossible for me for the past month, they will probably be putting a feeding tube in me next week sometime. That will be just grand...Get to spend another night down there for that one too of course. Can't wait! Then the following week it's back on the chemo again.

 

Bring it!

 

Well that's my update for now....g'nite y'all. And thanks for everyone's support through this shit, and patience from a few customers that have work still out. You all rock!

 

I've also got something else to announce but I should probably do it in my business section whenever I figure out how I'm gonna do this...Then I'll put up a link to it....it involves some custom made, one off, gun parts that are being donated by a member of this forum you all know. I want to somehow have an auction or raffle or something, to put these one of a kind parts in the hands of appreciative owners. They were made especially for this. I need to talk to Max about it and figure out the rest, but for now I just want to thank him for this great idea that was all his. It will help raise some money for all this damned gas and medicine we are buying on our already very limited budget. More later.

[Cobra 76 two 2,677]

I don't think he minds the idea of being bald.....it's the half way thing he don't like....

 

Hell TJ don't worry about that bro! Look at nailbomb...lol! He went and got his self all half bald on purpose! I believe Mr Rumore has also made this fashion statement.

 

Seriously man...it grows back from what I heard. They said mine shouldn't fall out but I don't know what to believe any more....

[BronCobraJet 80]

Cobra 76 2, I sure hope to hell you were driving your Cobra Mustang during all this! Even as shitty as you feel, it's got to give you some relief. Drive it like you stole it! Thank you for the pics, and Racegal, take care of your guy. Haven't heard anything at all from TJ except through Juggs. I hope he is weathering this shit ok. Bounce, sounds like you missed out on a good Halloween scare with your "glowing" glob on your leg. Don't mean to poke fun at any of you. Just want you to get well and be back here. Hang tough. Kudo's to all those who are helping these guys. Peace.

[Cobra 76 two 2,677]

Well as fun as it would be to take the Cobra back and forth to all these treatments, unfortunately I've got the engine out of her right now. Maybe once all this is over I can finally get that baby all back together and on the road again. With the price of gas though, I'd prolly still be driving the SR-5 with that four banger at least most of the time, maybe saving Fridays for that sweet cruise in the Stang.

I'm driving on a PFJ right now anyway so it's probably best in that respect too...lol.

 

YAY! Tomorrow's FRIDAY!!

[Bayoupiper 738]

Well as fun as it would be to take the Cobra back and forth to all these treatments, unfortunately I've got the engine out of her right now. Maybe once all this is over I can finally get that baby all back together and on the road again. With the price of gas though, I'd prolly still be driving the SR-5 with that four banger at least most of the time, maybe saving Fridays for that sweet cruise in the Stang.

I'm driving on a PFJ right now anyway so it's probably best in that respect too...lol.

 

YAY! Tomorrow's FRIDAY!!

 

 

You really should ditch that slant six for a real motor!

 

 

[Bounce12 407]

I'm home a day early.

 

The surgery went well. The doc had no problems and evidently the MRI made things look a little more dicey than they turned out to be.

 

Evidently, when the surgeon cut the skin over the tumor, the thing jumped out like the alien baby in the movie ALIEN. lol It did everything but scream and run away. I guess my muscles were squeezing it and when the skin was cut it pushed the tumor up and out to some degree.

 

Basically, the doc said everything went according to plan and the margins were good. He didn't have to cut out much of my quad.

 

So, I'm home, I'm beat, and I'm headed for bed.

 

Bounceman out.

[Cobra 76 two 2,677]

Well as fun as it would be to take the Cobra back and forth to all these treatments, unfortunately I've got the engine out of her right now. Maybe once all this is over I can finally get that baby all back together and on the road again. With the price of gas though, I'd prolly still be driving the SR-5 with that four banger at least most of the time, maybe saving Fridays for that sweet cruise in the Stang.

I'm driving on a PFJ right now anyway so it's probably best in that respect too...lol.

 

YAY! Tomorrow's FRIDAY!!

 

 

You really should ditch that slant six for a real motor!

 

 

 

WTF? Slant six? Ummmmm....nope. The Cobra has a built 302 thank you very much....It eats slant sixes for breakfast....

[Cobra 76 two 2,677]

I'm home a day early.

 

The surgery went well. The doc had no problems and evidently the MRI made things look a little more dicey than they turned out to be.

 

Evidently, when the surgeon cut the skin over the tumor, the thing jumped out like the alien baby in the movie ALIEN. lol It did everything but scream and run away. I guess my muscles were squeezing it and when the skin was cut it pushed the tumor up and out to some degree.

 

Basically, the doc said everything went according to plan and the margins were good. He didn't have to cut out much of my quad.

 

So, I'm home, I'm beat, and I'm headed for bed.

 

Bounceman out.

 

Awesome Bounce!

 

 

Alien....lol! I can imagine....

 

Well that sounds great man! Sleep well, gettin ready to hit it myself soon, and NOT have to hear a damned alarm clock tomorrow!

[BronCobraJet 80]

Bounce, Cobra, and TJ, take care.

[vjor 2]

Guys I wish you the best of the best and really is not much I can say must than hope things go better and better for you guys and like some one told me long ago

never say die and fight the good fight to the least even if the odds are 99 to 1 against you never give up.

[Cobra 76 two 2,677]

A quick update and then I guess it can get buried again. I noticed a significant change in the size of my tumor on Fri. It was like overnight it suddenly shrank about an inch.

I guess the shit is workin....

 

I hope TJ's makin out ok with the chemo.

 

Bounce I hope your leg's doin ok bro.

[bigj480 203]

Out-fucking-standing, Cobra! Best wishes to all of you guys and your families, kick it's ass!

Edited November 10, 2009 by bigj480

[DHunter 1]

Oh crap. I take a break from the forum for a while and everyone fall to pieces!

 

I really wish the best for all of you. Hang in there.