GREYLUPO 358 Posted October 19, 2012 Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 Anybody ever take a poly before? I have a physical, hair follicle drug test and a polygraph next week for a couple jobs Ive applied for. Im a bit nervous about the poly because 1, Ive never had one, and 2, Ive read and heard you can fail one even if you tell the truth 100%. My cousin whos a cop told me his department stopped giving polys because of the false positives they have gotten and instead went to the voice stress test. He himself failed the first poly he was given, complained about it and they gave him the voice test and he passed and got the job. Any of you ever completed one or have more info? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
jmzzl 146 Posted October 19, 2012 Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 No, I just imagine my grandmas face giving me "the look" when I contemplate lying, just knowing she is watching. I wouldn't worry about it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaddis 1,689 Posted October 19, 2012 Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 (edited) All you have to do is scrunch up your sphincter muscle (i.e. - asshole sucking buttermilk feeling ) on a few of the baseline questions to throw the test off and have it declared invalid. Edited October 19, 2012 by Gaddis Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Zombiehunter762 376 Posted October 19, 2012 Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 ^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BuffetDestroyer 969 Posted October 19, 2012 Report Share Posted October 19, 2012 All you have to do is scrunch up your sphincter muscle (i.e. - asshole sucking buttermilk feeling ) on a few of the baseline questions to throw the test off and have it declared invalid. That only happens to me when I'm really hungry - my asshole starts nipping at the grass below me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DLT 1,646 Posted October 20, 2012 Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 Had one years ago. Told the truth, and got the job. It's really that simple. Three hours of the same freaking questions over and over again. Just don't lie. Even if the truth hurts, just don't lie. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
timy 1,185 Posted October 20, 2012 Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 I'm not overly concerned since I never lie. Did I pass? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
horatio 515 Posted October 20, 2012 Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 i've never had to take one, but i have read a bit about it. and since it was on the internet, i know its real basically, they use thermal, heart rate, and moisture (ie sweat) sensors to gauge the difference in your control questions vs the real questions. getting the test to be invalid means throwing the control questions (your name address etc) so that the control questions illicit an unexpected response. i've read of guys putting tacks in their shoes to throw the baseline. recalling bad memories or a bad fear will do the trick too. Got caught banging the bosses wife in his car? Have an unnatural fear of the fat chick you stood next to on the train? Think of that when they ask you what color your shirt is. ultimately, it comes down to gauging if you really think you have something to worry about. while a potential employer probably isn't inclined to give you a second chance, i wouldn't risk tetnus or a potentially recurring nightmare just to throw a test that you probably shoudn't worry about good luck though and let us know how it went Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Syndicate 812 Posted October 20, 2012 Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 if that fails the shocker butt plug works right? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Salmonking 149 Posted October 20, 2012 Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 Don't lie, don't try to beat it, and don't try to explain too much. The answer is yes or no. It's an elimination process, don't think of them as your friend and don't go back on any of your answers. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Spartacus 1,619 Posted October 20, 2012 Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 I used to take them yearly at random for a job I had years ago. No big deal really. There is a reason they are not admissible in court though. They are not reliable. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mogunner 240 Posted October 20, 2012 Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 I've taken a few over the years when applying for certain jobs and can vouch that they are unreliable as I lied my ass on on them and passed with flying colors which was a bit scary when you think about what the jobs were... it all depends on how well you keep your cool under stress. People who freak out over taking one can fail baseline questions just because they're nervous which screws up the whole thing. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Squishy 1,149 Posted October 20, 2012 Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 I found this topic interesting as I may have to take one sooner or later. I Googled "how to pass a polygraph for employment" and found a lot of information. Much of it is directed toward showing how this test is severely flawed and should be abolished, and of course there are those who will teach you how to pass for a price. But there was a good bit of straight forward info that would benefit anyone facing this. Invest some time in reading about this and I think you'll be better for it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ARCHANGEL 104 Posted October 20, 2012 Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 (edited) Everyone I have known has " failed " it the first time including myself. I then came back for the second " last chance " go at it. I " failed " on the question, " Did a foreign agency or operative enlist you to infultrate this organization? ". I then ask the admistrator was I " lying" on a prior asked question #5 ( yes, I did remember every question he asked. ) ? He said no. I said well that question asked " Do you know, or have you ever been contacted by an agent of a foreign intelligence agency? " . So if I do not know or have not been contacted by the bad guys, then how could they have enlisted me? He had no answer for that. A lot of this test is to get you to feel like they know more than thay do and to get you to give it up after they accuse of something. A usual question to get you on the defensive is to start off with , " Have you ever, at any time, lied ? " Since you are probably nervous just sitting there and want to present yourself in a positive light this question puts you off kilter as they know everyone at sometime has lied.When you admit it they say " So your a liar and you want us to trust you? ". Of if you lie about lying you are squirming, if not you are trained or a sociopath. Edited October 20, 2012 by ARCHANGEL Quote Link to post Share on other sites
getboth 14 Posted October 20, 2012 Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 All you have to do is scrunch up your sphincter muscle (i.e. - asshole sucking buttermilk feeling ) on a few of the baseline questions to throw the test off and have it declared invalid. That only happens to me when I'm really hungry - my asshole starts nipping at the grass below me. Ok, i think im gonna go throw up now, lol. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BpS12 512 Posted October 20, 2012 Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 I got to monkey with one YEARS ago. Breath, stay Calm and above all else, Believe your version of the truth. Or just BCB. My O Sensi was "former" CIA and liked to share little tidbits with us, lol. Worked well when I was an MP. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaddis 1,689 Posted October 20, 2012 Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 All you have to do is scrunch up your sphincter muscle (i.e. - asshole sucking buttermilk feeling ) on a few of the baseline questions to throw the test off and have it declared invalid. That only happens to me when I'm really hungry - my asshole starts nipping at the grass below me. Ok, i think im gonna go throw up now, lol. One time (when I was a kid) a bunch of us was sliding down a grassy hill sitting on our buttocks on a sheet of cardboard that a just delivered refrigerator came packaged in. Little did we know that a rusty (but sharp edged) cut off close to the ground fence post was in our way. Can you guess who's touch hole managed to get snagged on one of the sharp, rusty corners on it as it passed on through the butt cheeks? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bayoupiper 738 Posted October 20, 2012 Report Share Posted October 20, 2012 One time (when I was a kid) a bunch of us was sliding down a grassy hill sitting on our buttocks on a sheet of cardboard that a just delivered refrigerator came packaged in. Little did we know that a rusty (but sharp edged) cut off close to the ground fence post was in our way. Can you guess who's touch hole managed to get snagged on one of the sharp, rusty corners on it as it passed on through the butt cheeks? That explains a lot about you! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Voltia 375 Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 http://www.dol.gov/compliance/laws/comp-eppa.htm#.UIM_8YYbakc This may help. Any company that flaunts this is not one you want to be working for. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GREYLUPO 358 Posted October 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 The test is for the man, a local PD. The PDs policy is No drug use at all the last 5 years including pot. Well, Ive smoked the green 4 times and it was between Dec 27th- Jan 1st 2009. I got a call from my cousin saying they found my mom and she had passed away. I just spoke with her the day before and she was only 52. I was wrecked so I visited a friend who I knew was a pot head and smoked. I also smoked a few more times over the next few days. That was almost 3 years ago. When they ask me if I have and I tell the truth I will be auto DQed, if I lie it will show and I will be DQed so Im kinda shit outta luck. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rhodes1968 1,638 Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 So you would happily help wage the war on drugs if you had enough stroke to get a pass on the polygraph.... Ok. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jpanzer 1,265 Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 (edited) All you have to do is scrunch up your sphincter muscle (i.e. - asshole sucking buttermilk feeling ) on a few of the baseline questions to throw the test off and have it declared invalid. Exactly true. Took one once upon a time for a potential job. Was nervous as hell. Answered truthfully on every question, but I tried to internally "calm" myself down during the test. Results came back - I was a fucking axe murderer! PAID OUT OF MY OWN POCKET to take a retest - they said I flunked that one too. If you have a conscious and actually give a shit about right and wrong - stay away from them. IF you're a amoral asshole who lies as easily as you breathe - you've got nothin to worry about... Edited October 21, 2012 by Jpanzer 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paulyski 2,227 Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 Anybody ever take a poly before? I have a physical, hair follicle drug test and a polygraph next week for a couple jobs Ive applied for. Im a bit nervous about the poly because 1, Ive never had one, and 2, Ive read and heard you can fail one even if you tell the truth 100%. My cousin whos a cop told me his department stopped giving polys because of the false positives they have gotten and instead went to the voice stress test. He himself failed the first poly he was given, complained about it and they gave him the voice test and he passed and got the job. Any of you ever completed one or have more info? I had to take several DOD polygraphs for my security clearance throughout the time I served. Every time they came up as inconclusive, even though I told the truth 100% each time. It gets annoying looking at the asshole's suspicious looks when he can't figure you out, so in all honesty, as far as I'm concerned they're a joke. I have deep underlying trust issues when it comes to people I do not know, people who just "rub me wrong", or authority structures, so I assume that's why they couldn't get a read on me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Agent Lemon 157 Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 What, they don't teach you to pass polygraph tests before you go in? Heh. What kind of jobs are you all getting that require you to take such tests? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
KennyFSU 249 Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 I had to take one for a dispatcher job at the local PD; lied on one question and still passed the test and was hired. That's why they are not 100%. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Agent Lemon 157 Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 I had to take one for a dispatcher job at the local PD; lied on one question and still passed the test and was hired. That's why they are not 100%. what kind of questions did they ask you on a test for a dispatcher job? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaddis 1,689 Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 (edited) One time (when I was a kid) a bunch of us was sliding down a grassy hill sitting on our buttocks on a sheet of cardboard that a just delivered refrigerator came packaged in. Little did we know that a rusty (but sharp edged) cut off close to the ground fence post was in our way. Can you guess who's touch hole managed to get snagged on one of the sharp, rusty corners on it as it passed on through the butt cheeks? That explains a lot about you! I should have cried that day (being all about maybe five years old at the time), but I didn't. Edited October 21, 2012 by Gaddis 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
poolingmyignorance 2,191 Posted October 21, 2012 Report Share Posted October 21, 2012 All you have to do is scrunch up your sphincter muscle (i.e. - asshole sucking buttermilk feeling ) on a few of the baseline questions to throw the test off and have it declared invalid. That only happens to me when I'm really hungry - my asshole starts nipping at the grass below me. Ok, i think im gonna go throw up now, lol. One time (when I was a kid) a bunch of us was sliding down a grassy hill sitting on our buttocks on a sheet of cardboard that a just delivered refrigerator came packaged in. Little did we know that a rusty (but sharp edged) cut off close to the ground fence post was in our way. Can you guess who's touch hole managed to get snagged on one of the sharp, rusty corners on it as it passed on through the butt cheeks? Not many of us can say that fate tore us a new one. I hope everything comes out ok. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
KennyFSU 249 Posted October 22, 2012 Report Share Posted October 22, 2012 I had to take one for a dispatcher job at the local PD; lied on one question and still passed the test and was hired. That's why they are not 100%. what kind of questions did they ask you on a test for a dispatcher job? Just your average "drug use/criminal activities" questions but the the one that really threw me off was, "Have you ever been involved with bestiality?" I said, "no" of course and that was not the one I lied on lol. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ARCHANGEL 104 Posted October 22, 2012 Report Share Posted October 22, 2012 Kenny , the only person I know who was asked the bestiality question was told he lied when answering "No." . Funny as he would have started his training at the " Farm". 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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